I told this story in a youtube comment a while back, and someone suggested I post it here due to the AH nature of my boss at the time lol, so here it is:
I used to be a barista/shift manager at a popular chain coffee shop and, while I loved my job and my regulars, I also had my share of weird/creepy customers. Once, I had to call the police on a customer who was stalking me. No one took me seriously when I tried to tell them how upset, uncomfortable, and on edge the guy made me for weeks leading up to it.
He started off as a regular, albeit really weird, customer. Middle aged guy, unassuming, just seemed like he was bored and didn’t have anyone else to talk to. He was the type of guy to hold you “conversationally hostage,” continuing to talk to you even when you’re obviously uncomfortable, busy, or trying to leave. I had mentioned it to my coworkers but didn’t think much of it at the time. He came in a lot, so I usually just tried to avoid getting stuck talking to him.
I used to take my lunch break outside since I smoked. We didn’t have outdoor seating so I’d sit on the hood of my car. One day, he followed me out of the cafe when I stepped out for break and came up to talk to me, despite me obviously not wanting to be disturbed. He kept pestering me and I was super uncomfortable so I made the excuse that it was time for me to go back to work and went inside for the rest of my break.
I still thought he was mostly harmless, albeit super socially awkward, until he started making customers uncomfortable too. The last straw was when I saw him trying to chat up a 17 yr old who had only stopped in for a moment with her grandmother. He tried to give her his number.
I went to my manager to tell him about the guy and ask for some help because I didn’t feel comfortable (or safe) approaching him myself. His response was that this was a welcoming place for everyone and I had to make this guy feel welcome too and why couldn’t I just politely say something to him? I told him I didn’t feel comfortable doing that and my boss continued to brush me off.
Then, one night when it was just me and another young female coworker closing, creepy guy was in the store past closing time. I had given all of the customers a 5 min warning prior to closing, and everyone had made their way out, but him. He was just standing in the lobby, trying to make weird, uncomfortable small talk while we were obviously trying to close up.
Once I finally got him to leave, he moved his car and parked it right next to mine in the dark parking lot and sat there, apparently waiting for me to finish closing the store and get off work. Once we had finished our closing tasks and saw he was still just sitting there, my coworker and I called the police non emergency line to have some officers come make sure we got to our cars safely. He finally left just before they arrived, but a few days later when he came back, we called them again and they formally trespassed him, so he'd be arrested if he ever came back.
Nothing ever physically happened to me and we got the guy banned, but the damage was done. Most of my coworkers thought I was overreacting. My boss didn't even care at all about what happened. But it had really rattled me deeply. I couldn’t focus. I felt like I had to constantly look over my shoulder and be on high alert. The constant fear of this man took over every thought I had, especially while I was at work.
About a week or so later, we had a happy hour rush and I just couldnt get anything done. Dropping things, forgetting things.
At some point, I forgot/didn't realize I needed to refill the ice. My boss pulled me into the back to tell me off for “slacking” and being distracted. I broke down and told him how constantly worried I felt, how I felt like I had to keep looking over my shoulder, how anxious I was and how unsafe I felt in my own workplace. He told me that “as an upper middle class white man,” he didnt really understand and that I essentially just needed to get my shit together. He actually ended up making a joke about the whole ordeal to another of my coworkers, right in front of me.
A few weeks later, I left the job. I never felt safe or comfortable there after the incident, and my boss's behavior just really drove home the point that I probably never would again. It really sucked because, daily 9-5 horror aside, I really did love that job. And I had to leave it behind after 4 years because some creep stole my sense of security there and my boss showed me he didn’t care about my safety or well being.