I experienced harassment from my direct manager on at least three separate occasions which created for a very uncomfortable experience going to work. It still bothers me. It bothers me even more when I brought up the situations to the Head of HR and the response I received from explaining what was happening.
“Well, you should be flattered. You were receiving a compliment from your manager” was the exact response I got from the Head of HR when I brought up what was happening.
The first time my manager stopped me at work was near the elevators when I was leaving the floor to go on a break. She stopped to say that she had saw me going for a run over the weekend and said she was going to stop me to talk with me but didn't as I was already in motion from running. Then she shifted the conversation to what I was wearing on that day and described to me every bit of detail of my outfit from head-to-to and how I looked “very cool” in it. That was weird to me, but I just “OK” and waited until the elevator came and proceeded with my break. When I came back up to my desk, I went straight to work and avoided looking at her.
The second occasion occurred where I was working at my desk doing my normal duties in the middle of a typical work day. It was an open-space office environment where all cubicles had low dividers where you could essentially see everybody sitting at their desk from any vantage point. I got that tingling feeling of “eyes on me” from behind and when I turned around she was staring right at me with this very concentrated ogle on her face – like she was in deep thought wondering what I was thinking about inside. She didn't realize I was looking at her for a second while still in her gaze but then her focus shifted and we made direct eye contact for about two seconds and which point I turned away and went back to my work. I did not wait to see her reaction but was disgusted she was staring at me while I was not even aware, nor could have known she was, especially after the weird previous interaction above I was trying to put behind me.
The third occasion occurred on a group team conference call. The topic of the call was creating a video for the employees of the team who had still not returned to the office following the initial building closure to Covid-19. The building had re-opened but now there were several new signs directing foot-traffic and signs on doors limiting the allowance on the maximum number of persons allowed in a given room per time, etc. Things like that.
On the call she mentioned it would be an idea for the people who were in the office to create a video the other team members could watch about the changes so they would be prepared prior to returning. Since me and her were already at the office at this time, while on the call she again stared right at me (where I changed my view from my screen to now her looking right at me) and she said aloud on the call to the whole team “(My name), you should really be in the video. You're a really photogenic guy and would look really great in the video.” The line when silent for a couple seconds, I was completely shocked she said that on an open conference call for everyone to hear. I looked at her for one second, returned my look back to my work screen and just said, very quietly, “maybe” after a second or two went by because I was unsure how to respond in that moment and my brain was trying to deflect the situation as best I could. I was completely embarrassed everyone heard what just happened.
I went to HR at this point to tell them what was happening, again where the response to me was that “You should be flattered that your manager is paying you these compliments.” I reiterated I did not deem them as compliments and that they made me feel very uncomfortable. My manager was at least 10-12 years my senior and was married with two adolescent children. I was single. I put in a complaint but nothing was ever followed-up on and no one from HR ever returned a reply.
One final incident occurred where on a late Friday afternoon as people were leaving, she was heading out of the office and passed in front of my desk. She said “bye” to me while I was still staring at my screen. Without looking up at her, I said “take it easy, have a good one” and waited for her to go. She stood there for a couple of seconds and when I looked up at her, she had the look of “like really, that's all you're going to say?” on her face. I went back to my screen and ignored her until she left. She adjusted her shoulder-bag and left not thrilled. I didn't care.
A few weeks later she called me to give me a performance warning due to poor work threatening job termination – which had never been mentioned before in previous evaluations and said right before abruptly hanging-up the line on me “I knew you went to HR and told them you didn't think this job was a fit for you.” Which I didn't. I called HR to let them know of the situation and how I might be needing some time off due to personal reasons that were affecting my work and mental health in addition to the incidents above. I was told my conversation was going to remain confidential and that my manager would not learn about them.
I went on sick leave after that, then on short-term disability. It was not a great experience. HR mentioned on my leave that they would help me find other employment in another department. They never did. They terminated my disability right before a crucial transition to long-term disability, negated all medical documentation I was providing citing not being medically-clear to return to work and that a shift to another team with a different manager would be recommended. They dismissed that three times and told me I was fit to return to work and that if I didn't, they would be inputting my resignation on my behalf. I balked at their idea because I said I was not in agreement.
My manager started calling me directly and e-mailing me when I would be coming back despite me telling HR I was no longer comfortable interacting with her one-on-one, but she did this anyway for three weeks. I contacted HR and asked to have an open conversation about my sudden decline for disability benefits while still being sick, the what was now turning into bullying and threats from additional HR personnel to return to work or forced resignation, and that I would like to have an attorney on the line at the same time just to stay on the line as a silent observer.
They declined and fired me the next day. I've consulted with a few attorneys about this and I have been told I have a case, but the legal fees for me to proceed are just absolutely exorbitant and out of my reach. Unfortunately, this is why things like this in the corporate environment continue to occur. They know they are Goliath, and the employees David. I am not saying that is right in any way. I have though about creating a KickStarter campaign to help generate funds to take this to court, but have never used that platform and wondering what the thoughts of other Redditors would be on that if I decide to go that route? Would it help?
The last few months were a horrible experience with them and their behavior appalling. I bring this up so others have an idea about the ongoing of this company on the inside. They say all the right things publicly and have all the new, updated flashy corporate logos depicting the current times and present culture about equality, but do nothing of the sort on the inside. I learned several months prior to my experiences, that the Director at my previous department in the organization was having an affair with a younger subordinate and the word got out. Both were married individuals with children. This company works good people to the bone and if you don't fall in line, they work to get you out. I met a few good people there and all were pressured to leave after not being able to cater to insane work demands. At least they avoided the situations above I had to endure in addition to expectations of working 10-12 hours a day, but being paid for only 7.5.
Thank you for reading this far and I hope someone at least gains information on this company if they decide to work for them. Not everyone was bad there. Just a powerful few selected to be in charge in directorial positions.