I need to get tf out of operations management.
When I first came on, I was like “damn, what sweet deal.” The team had been struggling for a while and I felt like I had some great ideas to fix things, but I never had the power to do it. Not to mention it came with a FAT 18% raise (my last raise being to the tune of ten percent – if I can say nothing else about the company, they come in clutch when raises actually come along)
Little did I know, change still would barely be in my power. I feel like I'm not taken seriously, and my team is suffering worse than ever. I present the team's needs to my boss (which, btw, changes every 3 to 4 months because folks either get promoted or leave) and I'm told that there's no budget, or there's no time, or they'll have to check with like 5 people above them and get back to me (which takes months and sometimes still bears no fruit whatsoever). I hate it! It feels like I know the problem, I have solutions to the problem, and when the problem doesn't get solved, my reports, their reports, and my higher ups all think it's my fault, which is really scary because this is my first role of this sort and they let my boss go for lack of experience. I'm burnt out, I feel alone, and I feel like I'm letting everyone down. We're dramatically understaffed and keep having folks leave due to a lack of opportunity for advancement or lack of compensation increase (it's more than overdue, but my company has been dragging their feet on this review process overhaul they started around this time last year). The things I am able to accomplish get criticized later on, which really sucks because I had like no support leveling up into this role – no training, just trial by fire, which was the case when I was first promoted to TL prior to the position I'm in now. This is both my first customer service job and strategic management position.
I never really was passionate about this path. It just kind of fell in my lap, and now I'm worried I'll become one of those people that is in a soulless job the rest of their lives just because they're scared to do anything else – I have security right now, and flexibility because I get to work from home. I'm scared there's nothing better out there. I want to be a writer one day, and I actively work on that in my free time, but it'll be a long while before it pays the bills and sometimes I'm even too burnt to do that. I don't know. I feel discouraged and like I need a new day job, but I'm also nervous the change would be even worse.
Just needed to vent, I guess – I care so much about my people but all the office politics make it impossible to take action on it beyond letting them know I hear them and I'm trying really hard to make things better, which must sound like an empty promise every time at this point. I just feel so defeated and powerless.