Just writing this to vent, sorry if this is rambling.
I’ve been at my job for about 5 years. Everything has been great up until the start of this year when a person reporting to me quit. I was given all of her work to do (without a raise or anything) until I could find a replacement to hire which has taken way too long.
It’s now been 3 months of me doing a job for 2 people. I dread coming to work every day. I’m so far behind on my normal job and feel like any time I get a small breather, something else goes wrong causing more stress. I wasn’t set up for success when this woman left, and am still cleaning up the messes she left as I work on training my new hire which is making training more difficult.
Anyway, today I’ve realized my chest hurts and I think it’s because of the stress. My resting heart rate peaked at 79bpm last week and I can look at my average over the past few months and it’s a steady incline. This isn’t healthy but I have no one at my job who can help. I also feel like I’m going to throw up whenever I’m in the office because the anxiety is just too much to deal with.
I’ve thought multiple times over the last month about quitting but would rather not do that until I have something else lined up. I know everything will fall apart when I leave since I am the only person in my department who knows and understands what I do. I have an interview next week but I’m not sure what it pays and worry it’s going to be less than the measly amount I make now. It’s the only place that has reached out to me out of the few that I’ve applied to, but applying to jobs also stresses me out so I haven’t been applying daily.
At this point I’m doing the bare minimum in my job and hope every day that they’ll just fire me and put me out of my misery. Any words of encouragement are appreciated.