American. But I think you know that. If not, you certainly will after you've read the rest.
Gen X. So, old enough to be seeing my dismal future ahead of me while young enough to still believe that I could have any hope of affecting my future via “being a good employee “.
I have done everything right. I am smart, talented, and driven to do my absolute best. I am loyal. I have busted my hump… and probably a few others, if I'm honest. I am a damn solid worker and have bought into this bullshit for far too long .
I have weathered layoffs, chronic illness of my stay-at-home spouse, and abuse from same. I can weather some serious crap.
I finally, in my fucking 50s, have a job that pays well AND does right by its people (we are all getting a reasonable COL increase effective in July, in addition to our performance increases).
But.
It is too little, too late for me.
I have young adult kids. Kids who got neglected because of the abusive situation I was in. Kids who deserved better than I gave in all the ways.
I have no retirement savings because my dumb ass drained my 401k – multiple times over the years- to “save my family” when, as it turns out, was only really saving my abuser.
My only hope is to be able to die while I am employed so that my kids can benefit from the stupid amount of life insurance my employer gives me.
So… my plan is to kill myself via alcohol. It's almost perfect, really. I can stick around long enough to see the amazing things my kids do for themselves and hope to die from a painful and incurable illness in a time frame which allows them to benefit monetarily.
I hope.
It's like the lottery. Only I'm not buying tickets. I'm just drinking tequila.