I have been sitting on these thoughts for over a year and am finally ready to post about it. For context, I (thank God) no longer work at this company, but have been too traumatized and trying to get my life back to even contemplate processing everything that happened to me at this place.
I worked at a big-name, fancy, trendy tech company you've definitely heard of for almost seven years, until I was let go last year. During that time I made a Big Tech salary of over $180k/year when I left. I say this not to brag, but to prove that while the money was obviously more than enough to live on/save, I would give it back if it meant not going through the mental anguish I suffered, which then turned into multiple physical problems that resulted in hospitalization several times. I also want to preface this story by stating that prior to working at this company, I was making around $45k/year. Obviously, a huge salary jump that I negotiated because they really needed my skillset. I fully support the anti-work movement.
During my time at this company, which prides itself on its “culture” and has all the bells and whistles to keep you in the office 24/7 (gym, fancy cafeteria, ping pong tables, bars, “unlimited vacation” etc) I became an absolute shell of myself. The daily emotional abuse my coworkers and I suffered in the form of passive-aggressive emails, Slack messages, performance reviews, etc. landed me in the hospital three times with panic attacks/mental breakdowns. Thank God for the great insurance /s! Many days I would stay home claiming to “work from home,” but really I just needed a day away from my emotionally abusive managers. I would then get guilt-tripped for working from home, in a passive-aggressive way, of course, even though we technically had unlimited work from home.
Speaking of which, that unlimited vacation? Yeah, not a chance. I did not take one “off the clock” vacation in seven years, and that includes holidays with my family and single-days/long weekends. My Slack was going off at all hours of the day with some “emergency” that needed to be handled immediately. I didn't turn my cell phone off once in seven years. If I didn't answer a Slack message, one of my coworkers/bosses would literally text me and/or whatsapp me to confirm that I saw their message.
For seven years I lived with the threat of being fired at any moment. Job security was non-existent; you were always one Slack message or review away from getting the can. One time my boss made me sit down with my job description and justify my salary to him on the spot with no warning. Try living with that anxiety 24/7, especially when you've created a lifestyle for yourself that requires a high salary. Eventually I moved to a small apartment with several roommates because I was so scared of getting fired/not having any money to pay my rent.
One of the main tenets of this company's culture was “transparency.” This is very common in tech. What ended up happening there is that almost every employee I knew had two computers (company computer and personal) and would save/copy all their files/emails/screenshots etc to their personal computer in case they needed to sue the company at some point. Everyone assumed their Slack and email was being monitored and many people were so paranoid they were convinced the office was bugged and would not have certain meetings on the company campus for this reason. The CEO was incredibly abusive to people and obsessed with “transparency,” which actually was just his way of keeping total control of all the employees. This unfortunately had a trickle-down effect where no one felt safe at work, ever.
One of my coworkers developed an addiction to Valium while I was there, and was popping Xanax just to make it through the day. Many people were addicted to cocaine and alcohol, I would even go as far to say the majority of the workers I interacted with had a recreational drug or alcohol dependency of some sort, myself included. Crying was a regular occurance for most of my coworkers.
This was all pre-pandemic, and we were required to live in the city where the office was (SF area). It was a very high cost of living, and all my money went to rent/city/state/federal taxes/drinking myself into an oblivion in expensive bars/restaurants after work and on weekends. Thank God I was able to save some.
When I was laid off (which was my biggest fear because of bills etc) it was actually a relief. I took one month off of work and then used my severance to check myself into rehab for alcohol abuse, trauma, and exhaustion.
The end of this story? I moved to a low cost of living state and do freelance coding work and spend the rest of my time in nature and practicing my hobbies. I will NEVER go back to work in-house for one of these abusive “culture first” companies.
If you can avoid working at one of these places, I would at all costs. Maybe it's better now with WFH, but I doubt it…I still get monthly (at least) calls from former coworkers who still work there, asking for advice on how to deal with their mental breakdowns.