Long story short, I’m a videographer that was sent out with a smaller team within our company to a different state for a client shoot. It was three days in a row of roughly 14 hour shoot days, with a 5:45am call time and ending after 7.
The client decided to book a dinner with the team every. single. night. of our stay. We were told by our office manager that if we didn’t feel well, to stay at the hotel and take care of ourselves if we can’t make the dinner.
Our travel day was fucked, but I went to dinner that first night despite feeling really gross. The second night, I requested to not attend the dinner. It wasn’t mandatory, but there was continuous pressure it was “important for everyone to be there.”
Keep in mind, I’m a junior videographer. My seniors told me multiple times it’d be okay if I headed back to the hotel since I didn’t feel well. So I stuck up for myself and listened to my body. I needed better sleep. I needed better food.
Come to find out, some of the team members complained about me not being a team player.
….
I missed one dinner. A dinner. Not a shoot. I was told to look out for myself, so I communicated I didn’t feel great. I wasn’t trying to get out of work. I was trying to avoid going to bed after 10pm.
I feel like people will say “well, you should have expected this from an industry like production.”
Valid.
But my office manager gave the okay.
And the day we arrive back in office on the shoot, I’m put on fucking probation.
Why?
Because I missed the dinner.
I don’t arrive late.
I turn my shit in on time.
I over-communicate.
I reach out for help from seniors when I need it.
I research things to problem solve.
In the meeting? She said there’s too much hand-holding. That I’m not a good communicator.
So now I’m head of this e-comm side of the business – taking boring white backdrop Amazon style videos, running this completely on my own. From pre-pro to editing to budget, to setting everything up and filming by myself.
I’m not allowed to ask for help. I’m not allowed to work on client projects.
Because I missed a goddamn dinner.
I understand if you may have differing opinions. I’ve heard them all from friends; I’m moreso looking for other people who’ve experienced this, or to feel justified that this feels very unfair.
A coworker of mine continuously shows up late. She’s turned things in late before too. I’ve been with this company since end of November and have produced really solid edited pieces, and to be honest, my content is more cohesive than even hers is.
To spill more tea, this company has gone through five different teams since 2017, with no roll over from previous teams.
There have been multiple write ups in the sister office of ours in a different state, but all of that team is cis-white-het men. Both me and the other girl who have been on development plans are the only ones.
This is also my first full time job. I was fully, successfully running my personal freelance brand before COVID, but then came the pandemic and I lost those jobs. Getting back on my feet was painful.
I told them up front I’d never worked with these kinds of cameras. That I’d only ever shot with natural light, and didn’t do much audio, so would need to learn that.
Instead, during the meeting, they tell me I have to figure it out on my own. That I can’t ask for help from the team.
It makes me sick because I communicated, have done the absolute best I can, and feel utterly crazy for even feeling this way – that somehow I must just be a really terrible employee or something wrong with me, when in actuality, I straight up feel like I haven’t been set up to succeed, let alone feel supported by anyone.
tldr: feeling isolated and taken off all client projects because I missed a dinner for my physical health.