Note that this is coming from a relatively new server that was a leftist long before I ever became a server (was ever since 10th grade (2014) where the I came out as gay and BLM just started taking off, which were events that radicalized me. My dad was always a big union guy, being a teacher, and my mom was always a staunch feminist. I couldn’t vote in 2016, but I supported Bernie Sanders both in 2016 and 2020.
All of this is to say, here is the r/antiwork argument for tipping:
Now for some context, the server minimum wage, at least in my home state of New Jersey, is $5.13, which is taxable income. I know the wage is lower is many other states. Also some more context: serving is one of the most grueling jobs. It’s both heavy emotional and physical labor. The job description is in the name; you’re literally a servant. Not only do you have to tend to your tables, which means bringing them all their free fountain drink refills, setting the table up for whatever entrees they get, preparing some food and drink items for them, hearing their complaints, trying to find creative and often outlandish solutions to their weird & specific requests (there are many), deal with management whenever something in their check needs to be changed or if food comes out wrong, and do it all quickly (!!! Important: plus you’re multitasking between multiple tables). You ALSO often have to do sidework: both running and end-of-shift: such as cleaning specific stations, refilling ice, sorting/ rolling/polishing silverware, and organizing glass racks. In my restaurant, if you aren’t seen as doing enough running sidework, your station will get shut down, meaning you lose out on crucial income. So you have to multitask and basically be a miracle worker for the whole shift. If you don’t have anything to do in the moment, you are expected to to help run other’s servers food and beverages. In fact, even if you are extremely busy, if the manager asks you to help run something, you can’t say no really. I will often end shifts severely dehydrated because I don’t have time to stop and drink water.
From the perspective of a patron sitting at the table, serving is easy. The server takes your order and that’s like 80% of it. What you don’t see is the server running to the kitchen to make your 5 (free) waters: with no ice and lemons, while also keeping in mind they have food to run, boxes to give to tables, checks to drop, plates to bring to tables, sauces and dressings to bring. Oh and you just got sat with a 6-top and you have to greet them within 2 minutes. Most servers have an amazing skill of keeping it together when talking to tables besides probably reciting in their head the five things they have to do when talking to you. Why? Because people don’t like to tip stressed servers. Servers are supposed to make their job look easy.
Serving can sometimes be very lucrative and it can screw you sometimes. The fact is that every time you go into the job, it’s a gamble. How hard am I going to have to work tonight and will I be compensated for it? The most you can do is turn tables over as fast as possible and hope and pray that your sales and tips are at a good level so that you’re not screwed by the time you tip out.
What is a tipout you ask? Well those bussers and bartenders and food runners and hosts that make your job a bit easier? Well at the end of the night, they expect tips from you based on the percentage of your sales, not tips. On an average night, I tip about 5% of my sales out. If my tips average 20%, that means I’m losing 25% of my tips. Of course, you can choose to tip out less, but that looks bad and it also means you will get less help from the people you screwed over. Also many of the people who occupy these positions are not english-speakers and would have a very difficult time finding other sources of income to support themselves and their families.
Serving is not a 9-5 job. There are no breaks. You can be kept on your shift for way longer than you expect. Why? You have a table that didn’t close and you have to do your outs. With regards to the table, you technically can transfer it to another server, but that would mean that you lose out on that tip that you already worked so hard for.
Despite all this, servers don’t get paid vacation, sick days, employment protection, benefits (mostly). They are at the whims of management who they need to kiss up to /impress in order to get better shifts/sections.
Q: So why tip? A: Because servers depend on tips. We barely qualify as wage earners. Eating out at a restaurant is a privilege. If you don’t have the disposable income to tip, then don’t go out where you have all your needs catered to. In fact, if you’re at all concerned about spending money, don’t go out to eat. 99% of eateries do takeout anyway. We would prefer to not have to serve you if we can’t upsell to you and you can’t tip.
As much as you and I hate the tipping system by principle, it’s a reality for the hundreds of thousands of workers who live on tips. It isn’t going away. And as the baseline wage stays stagnant behin inflation, you should be tipping more in the future (remember when 10% was considered “enough?) Not tipping by principle isn’t “sticking it to the man”, you’re just making a hard-working person’s day that much worse. Consider that you took up a table from someone else who was actually going to tip. You’re not practicing worker solidarity, you’re kicking a worker while they’re down and taking money out of their pocket.
Tl;dr: serving is hard. Tip or don’t go out.