This is not a cry for help, and don’t worry I am not going to do anything to hurt myself.
Pre-pandemic, I had an experience with a supervisor who was a misogynistic pig and made me hate every day that I had to go to work. I’ve never worked for someone who made me feel so worthless and stupid. I wanted to die, and hoped to get hit by a bus every day.
I redid my résumé and applied for many jobs but never got a new one, and I was seriously hating my life and wanted out.
Eventually that asshole left and I got a new supervisor, and then the pandemic hit, and everything was good for a couple years. But now that Covid precautions have eased up, I once again find myself working with people who will stomp all over me and make me feel like shit. They constantly second guess my skills and expertise, and I constantly feel like I need to prove myself over and over and over again. It’s like I spend more time defending myself than actually getting work done.
Obviously this is a me problem and not a them problem. Maybe I’m just not cut out for the working world? What kind of a world is it where people think they can get things done through bullying and treating other people like shit? I just hate this rat race so much. FYI I’m an older gen x in middle management.
/vent