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Antiwork

Quit my job of 6 years Friday, and it’s been a whirlwind.

To give backstory: my manager – a lazy, notoriously passive-aggressive manipulator that is the wife of the owner of the business and therefore only got her position due to proximity, gathered our tiny staff of 8 so she could shit on us – but mainly me – this Friday. Weeks ago I was sat down with the owner and manager due to my “non-team player attitude” because I had refused to train the new assistant manager on how to do a portion of my duties that they were giving to her – our inventory, that I had revolutionized and meticulously babied and brought out of the dark ages that it had been in when I started.I told them that I wouldn't be teaching anyone how to do this aspect of my job because no one had taught me and that I felt it was the duty of management to teach…


To give backstory: my manager – a lazy, notoriously passive-aggressive manipulator that is the wife of the owner of the business and therefore only got her position due to proximity, gathered our tiny staff of 8 so she could shit on us – but mainly me – this Friday.

Weeks ago I was sat down with the owner and manager due to my “non-team player attitude” because I had refused to train the new assistant manager on how to do a portion of my duties that they were giving to her – our inventory, that I had revolutionized and meticulously babied and brought out of the dark ages that it had been in when I started.I told them that I wouldn't be teaching anyone how to do this aspect of my job because no one had taught me and that I felt it was the duty of management to teach management, and because they opened that door, I aired some of my other grievances – addressing mainly the fact that they had kept me without a raise for the past 3 years along with other senior staff members, never gave us bonuses or benefits while we pulled in record profits during the pandemic, and that we (the entire staff) were pretty pissed in the hiring of an assistant manager – a person whose job hadn't existed previously – when we were short staffed in my position and the manager had been dragging her feet and collecting excess money from not filling.

Fast forward to Friday, 7/8. That day my manager was angry with me because I had refused to train our new hire, who had sweetly requested that she be with me next week instead of our other senior staff member (while her trainer was on vacation) because she is a little…rough around the edges. Normally I wouldn't have had a problem, but they had gone out of their way to keep her away from me, even going so far as introducing all of the staff EXCEPT me at her interview. When the new hire requested this to management, they told her they didin't think it was a good idea and that they hadn't wanted her to train with me because they didn't want my “negative outlook on the business” to scare her off. Still, they tried to accommodate her by asking me later, and when I said no anyway because I didn't want my “negative outlook” to be the blame if she quit, which I knew it would be, my manager lost her shit and flew through the building in a tizzy and called for a last minute meeting after hours.

The purpose of this meeting was clearly to admonish me in front of others and put me “in line” to agree to requests from management, and everybody knew it.

In this meeting, she mentioned us using the bathroom, eating snacks, or taking drinks of our coffee as unacceptable. There is a member of staff that is hypoglycemic if you want to know the extent of just how shitty these little nit-pickings are. She targeted me mostly with everything else afterward- practically called me out in everything but name.

She said 3 times that if we “didn't like it and can't get on board then you can turn in your key on my desk at the end of the day and I won't ask questions but instead take it as your resignation,” but kept saying how she didn't want anyone to do such a thing and how wonderful of a team could be.

I waited patiently throughout the whole thing, never making a face, never posing a question. This is out of character for me – I always challenge them when they try to shit down our necks, but not this time. I even politely answered a question she asked about my schedule the following week.

Everyone around me was as tense as a bow throughout the whole thing. They knew about my convo with management last week because we are very close. At one point I went to put my hair up in a ponytail and you could have heard a pin drop, as everyone thought that was the moment I would make my exit.

But, I refused to give her the satisfaction of me making a scene that she could point to defend herself from criticism, as I had unfortunately told management and ownership of my disabilities (I know, I know, but I was n need of “reasonable accommodations”) and knew that they had somehow manipulated my dissatisfaction and unhappiness at work as a symptom of that.

I gathered my things, texted my husband, hugged my work wife, went into the office and slammed my key down in front of them, and walked away. They bet I wouldn't, and they lost. My friend from work said they were stunned and then they scrambled, immediately removing me from the group chat to keep me from saying anything to the rest of the staff.

So, goodbye to 6 years of my life. Countless hours, working so hard to seek validation from them. It hadn't been bad until the last 2 years, honestly. My shitty, stupid belief that these people cared about me as a person and wanted to see me succeed let them manipulate me for something as shallow as profit. After this challenge in front of the staff, I would not have been able to respect myself if I had stayed another minute.

I have cried so much I've made myself sick, been wracked with anxiety for the future, alternating between the ecstatic joy to be free at last and consumed by terror for the unknown.

But, I take solace in the fact that I couldn't have chosen a better time. Next week, only 1 senior staff member will be on the floor with the majority of the responsibility, which will be crushing. 1 lower-level employee will be present with a limited skill set, and then the new hire – if she somehow miraculously stays after this drama – who cannot complete any function alone and also has a limited skill set. Our other senior staff member – my work wife and dear friend – is on a week-long vacation and will not be there to suffer with them, so I have spared her that, at least.

But what gets me still is the fact that I was removed from their existence with such swiftness. That they called my friend and begged her not to follow behind me, that they “didn't intend for this to happen” with me, trying to make themselves out to be just misunderstood good guys that didn't push me to this. Even had the audacity to tell her that they wished me well in whatever I would do next, but I never received a call or text with the same.

I have worked in corporate before and thought them the ultimate evil, but these private small businesses that call themselves family will stab you in the heart and have your job posted before you're out the door just as quickly.

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