By most people's standards, I'm living it up. I'm 30 years old, mother to 3 kids, have a nice house, 2 cars, own my own business, and have a patent. I am well educated but I feel completely alone.
I tried going back to work for a company last year and it was a total wash. I ended up in an immature department who sent fart videos and memes all day at work. This was at a med device company by the way too…I ended up quitting and going back to work for myself.
I'm trying to get into med school while supporting myself and my kids and just trying to find some meaning in this God forsaken life. I can't stand repetitive work. I used to work at the hospital and loved my 12 hour shifts, but the people I had to rely on to help with my kids didn't. How do people live while going to school? How do you find meaning? Is living a significant life as important to others as it is to me? I was discussing this also with my empath adopted mother who is a lot like me. She's been a physical therapist for 30 years and has had 16 jobs not because she was fired but because she can't tolerate the mundane nature of working day in and day out at the same damn place doing the same damn thing.
Please don't take this as me whining–seriously trying to strategize about how to get to school and survive until then. Really struggling with major depression in this cycle of pay bills til you die.