I wont leave this up for too long, just need some insight or reassurance. Sometimes I think the only reason I know I'm not crazy is this subreddit. Like most of us, I've had lots of different jobs. I'm in my early thirties and I've been working since I was fifteen. Needless to say, I've learned a lot in terms of work environment and I've learned to value keeping my distance. That is NOT to say I'm rude. I'm always friendly and polite, and if I'm being asked personal questions I don't feel comfortable answering, I always just redirect the conversation or parle into a different subject.
The main people I work with are three females. They have all worked at this company for over a decade, with eachother. Needless to say they are like sisters. To be honest, I have no issue with this. In fact, I'm happy for them and the relationship they have with eachother. The part that annoys me is that it seems to be to my detriment.
I suspect (do not know as I have no one else to corroborate) that they bond over me. I have been there for three months next week. A young man before me made his three months and never showed again, and apparently there was another woman who covered a mat leave and they told her she could stay and she left for “personal” reasons (that's a quote from my coworker) and I feel I get her reasons at this point.
I am not quiet by nature, but at this job, I'm quiet. I find I leave myself at home when I go to this job. That isn't to say it's a bad thing at all. Anytime I've made a joke or something they look at me like I have three heads. I thought it was just an age and a communication barrier- like they don't know how to take my sense of humour. I also leave on my breaks. I live close and my lunch is an hour. Yes, I regret saying I live close, and I'd leave even if I didn't and just cruise around in my car. I have worked with so many people who just disappear in their car at lunch, but this place has clearly never encountered this? The fact I leave seems to downright offend them and sometimes they make comments that make me think they suspect I'm up to nefarious activities on my breaks.
Anyways, for the summer we do half an hour lunches on Fridays as opposed to an hour and we leave two hours earlier but its always put as “if we can.” Personally, I'd rather just have a normal day than have this idea in my head that I can leave at two, plus 30 minutes isn't a whole lot of time to go home and I don't want to spend my lunch with these people.
Needless to say when I got back from my lunch, the vibes were weird. I want to point out my coworker is ALWAYS on her phone. Always. And if she isn't scrolling, she's talking on it. I don't give a shit by any means. But obviously, us new people learn what's accep by seeing what others get away with. In between tasks or when I'm waiting for work to be checked, I'll scroll a bit. Today my manager made a passive aggressive comment that it didn't seem like I had much to do and that I should tell her so she could give me tasks to do. So she told me to box up a bunch of files and I did.
I would never ever want to throw my coworker under the bus but I think a comment will be made to me during my review.
I went to leave at 210 (end time is supposed to be at 2 on Friday) and asked if we were good to leave because no one was packing up yet and I got some remark that it's always if we “can” go, not that we can automatically leave. I keep saying I understand this, but I'm asking because we all have different tasks and to my knowledge I had completed anything pertinent. It really is terrible because these women cannot even empathize for one moment that I've been there for three months and they have been there for years. They automatically know what is important and what isn't. I don't. And I don't think it's crazy that I want to plan my day accordingly so obviously I can leave on time.
I notice they don't like when I leave at my end time each day. I'm aware if something urgent comes up I need to stay, but anytime I ask if it needs to be done today they say no. They also are never working when they stay, just talking. I always come back right on time for lunch and they are still eating for another ten minutes, so I go on my phone. When they came out of the lunch room that's when I got the comment.
I get paid 32000 a year and I KNOW they get WAY more than that, plus they get bonuses based on what the company makes. They cannot possibly expect me to not want to leave at my end time. This is not above and beyond money. It seems I'm expected to ALWAYS be busy, but they are always on their phones or gossiping at the front and whispering. I can hear them and I've walked in on them talking. I suspect it was about me cause they shut right up.
I try my hardest not to entertain this, but I have OCD and general anxiety and depression. I do NOT want to disclose this. In the past it has never ever gone over well and ends up with me being patronized. But today when my boss is giving me multiple tasks an hour before leaving, I get hot in the face and anxious because it feels like something weird is going on. Everyday this week there has been something passive aggressive said about my leaving on time, but when I ask if anything needs done, they say no. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna burst into tears and ask them what their fucking problem is. Luckily I don't. I am clearly the office bitch. They NEVER do any of the manual labor stuff I do. Needless to say I might apply to some jobs to not feel so hopeless.
If you read all this, Thank you ️