I am the office manager for a large government funded health system. I operate headquarters, therefore the largest facility of our system, and am extremely involved in all operations in four separate departments. Because we’re headquarters, we also house various members of administration and the CEO himself. I’ve been the office manager for 2 years now, and with the company for just a few more months before that. I left retail management (in which I was very successful) and then landed in healthcare (non profit) management 4 months before COVID-19.
Before COVID, this location had a myriad of dysfunction. High maintenance providers, loose task structure, people using PTO whenever they pleased, and bad customer service. I was expected to build rapport with these providers but also implement the company expectation that we serve everyone that walks up to our doorstep. During my interview, the CEO himself interrupted to lay on the expectation that I was to make this facility run 15% more efficient than my predecessor.
I was also expected to implement a structure among many receptionists who had a reputation of cutting corners, ignoring patient needs, gossiping, complaining (insert your typical bad receptionist experience here) which resulted in bad – like holds the company liable “bad” – patient care. One direct supervisor pointed out three “bad eggs” that I would need to “hold accountable” and, essentially – continue to keep a watchful eye on them. “Coach up or coach out” is a mantra another supervisor also liked to repeat.
Add COVID to that – the anxiety, the furloughs, the changes in policies and procedures, the turnover and short-staffed months, the sudden operational shifts to keep folks safe while getting good care. Well – its been a lot. I am salaried, so there has been SO many overtime hours that I haven’t been compensated.
I’ll take a second to talk about my character – I’m a workhorse, for better or for worse. I’m bright, resourceful, and usually have the right balance of self-esteem, humility and elbow grease to get me through the rough spots. I earn the respect of other worker bees and coordinate well with those who value efficiency. I mentor and validate. I consistently find compromises to make both parties happy. I cut slack to employees going through hard times, and I am direct about someone’s performance when its necessary, while offering solutions to work their way out. I apologize when I goof and I forgive when others goof. There are certainly “opportunities” I should work on – but I am earnest in my efforts to be a good middle-manager. Fight for higher wages for my people, advocate for other hard workers for promotions and other things, strategize to make workflows easier on everyone and stay positive and show gratitude. I absorbed Leslie Knope-ness at a highly impressionable time in my life and that’s been my north star of leadership. — And I say all of this in that I believed that having good character is what will save you from hardship – but I’m getting older and cynical and realizing how naive I have been.
So in all of this – I’ve experienced harassment and bullying in the form of gossiping and – well – lying – from some of those bad eggs I was expected to hold accountable. They undermined my decisions, cried wolf when I was enforcing company standards (which is simply good patient care) and they’ve effectively ran off other hard workers with their mean-girl ways. Yet, my supervisors are annoyed that I haven’t “held them accountable enough” (despite having no power over whether or not I could dismiss them) – but when I have held them accountable for negative behavior, it’s not been enough. So I’m expected to keep picking an open wound but never let it heal or just amputate it already. The infection is left to fester.
The only time I hear from my supervisors is when I call for help. Then I’ve been misunderstood, hardly listened to in the form of overtalking and defensiveness, and gas-lighted into thinking I’ve created the problem. They’ve made me cry out of frustration twice already and one is especially skilled at arguing rather than problem solving. I rarely receive compliments. I have one co-manager that has extreme anxiety and people pleases so I've found that her opinions and guidance are unhelpful and sometimes obstructive. She also “plays the office politics game” and will say whatever suits her needs and offer up information to keep her own problems off the radar. Basically I’m saying, I’m getting it from all ends. Those I supervise, administration and other middle managers.
Despite this, I’ve also been successful. The facility is running well, we are a model for growth. I created a system that kept us afloat during COVID and was soon modeled among the other facilities. We passed a government audit with flying colors, getting a rare perfect score. We are expanding the departments, and have providers leaving profitable health systems to join ours specifically because they want to be in my facility.
It’s been really *hard* though. I saw a therapist (who told me that yes, I’ve been in impossible situations and handled myself well). I started taking Adderall again, something I haven’t done since college (legitimately have ADHD) when I worked full time and went to school full time, along with starting an SSRI. I now have on-going GI issues that are crippling at times and still haven’t been properly diagnosed. I’ve put off starting a family because there’s no way I could be pregnant while handling the stress and the amount of work. My work-life balance is a joke.
So – this opportunity opened up to join a new team within my company to rollout a new EHR. I was encouraged to apply by a few folks already selected for the team and I made sure to appropriately reinforce my current bridges while laying groundwork for this new one. I wasn’t selected, but was asked to be a part of a team that would work closely with IT to help implement the new EHR (uncompensated). Other “power players” were selected for this team as well. This last Friday, there was a zoom call with all of us explaining our roles with time for a Q&A session. Halfway through the call, the VP of IT accidentally screenshared her Slack conversation with the group, in which I was discussed – and negatively joked about. I missed the screenshare, as I was multitasking, so I’m not exactly sure what was said.
The VP of IT called me directly about an hour later to apologize. I asked her what was said, and she said it was innocent enough in that they were just trying to figure out what part of the building I was in. But that she was very sorry, and appreciated that I was so kind and forgiving. She later issues an apology email to all those involved, stating that it was humiliating and unprofessional and hurtful for all those who witnessed it. About an hour after that, I got a phone call from the CEO himself profusely apologizing for what was said, and stringing together ten minutes worth of compliments saying how valuable I am to the company, praising me for my loyalty and hardwork. HR later called and asked when I could have a meeting with him to provide some clarity, and we could do it on my schedule. Later on, I get a few feelers back stating that IT was “talking shit” about me, and then they made fun of my appearance, by posting an edited screenshot of my face in their group chat. They also made fun of another person who asked a question in the Q&A session – and her question was “what is the timeline of all of this?” Their smart comment – “fucking nurse.”
So I don’t know exactly what was said about me, but I certainly think its leaning towards bad versus innocent.
What makes this especially frustrating is that one of the person's making the “jokes” is a company favorite – a “class clown” type. If actions are taken to hold him accountable, even if I don't call for them, it's going to be misinterpreted as my fault. I'm just going to be subject to more ridicule and harassment from other members in this company. … When my only sin was not wearing makeup on a zoom call…
I’m very tired of being this companies hacky sack, but I don’t want to quit (yet). I have great fringe-benefits with this place and make a decent salary, which could definitely grow. I also know that it’s just as bad in other companies and other industries, and at least I’m not working for something contributing to a capitalist gain. I’m not the first manager fighting an uphill battle or thought to be a stick in the mud. I’m not trying to throw a pity-party. I’m wanting to use this moment to leverage for some much earned respect among other things.
What are my next steps?
TLDR; It was widely shared that IT made fun of my appearance and unprofessionally discussed something about me. Bigwigs of the company apologized and want to meet with me later. This is yet another example of harassment and bullying I’ve experienced with this company in my short time with them. What should I do?