I am F19, I work a full time insurance underwriting job from my home.
My mother has been a stay-at-home-mom for 30 years. She put three children through public school… I’m the youngest, and was emancipated at 15 (when my parents decided to move closer to the 2nd coming of a Christ while I was in the midst of HS). I have a lot of difficulties accepting the life she’s been able to live…
She got a doctorate from the University of the Philippines, and then married a Mormon Missionary, moved to the US- and enjoyed (what seems to be) the best life imaginable since 23YO. There are no longer kids in her home, and there hasn’t been for many years- yet she’s still a self identifying stay at home mother who shops all day, watches tv, and enjoys hobbies. She doesn’t house keep anymore, and their home isn’t what it could be. I visit and make sure their dishes are done, and house is stocked
I am filled with so much internalized hatred and jealousy. She frequently proclaims how people simply do not want to work anymore. How work life balance is for the softer generation. Today, I had gone out to breakfast with her, and she shared a story of a women working two cashiering jobs- she said this woman was able to save 20k a year.
I find myself becoming someone I hate. I feel like a zombie. I feel too young to be this tired. My mothers influence has caused me to truly hate women, to avoid them, it’s such a messy & unexplainable distaste. I am ashamed. Unable to keep female friendships or associations
I’m so sad. I turn 20 next month and I have next-to-nothing to show for it. I’ve been working since I was 15. I can’t do this for another 45+ years