The things I do for a Temp Job.
Evidently I ate something that didn't agree with me. Maybe it's the hot pockets I eat for dinner. Maybe I'm intolerant to something. Maybe I'm just seriously overweight. I don't know, I can't afford to see a doctor. I usually have a bowel movement just after getting to my desk. Basically, I arrive, drop off my stuff, go to the bathroom, come back, get to work. Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.
So I get a phone call when I get to my desk, and I answer it.
It goes longer than expected.
My colon is not having it.
I rush the end of the phone call. I go out to the hall. The bathrooms are right there but it's too far. I feel something running down my leg.
I take off my clothes in the bathroom. I've made a total mess. It's fucking everywhere, there's no saving this pair of underpants.
I can't take off more time, I've already chewed through a lot of time off avoiding snowstorms and legitimately being sick.
So, I clean off the undies best I can. I scrub my pant leg, clean off my skin. I wrap the undies in several layers of paper towels, go back to my desk, hide the undies in my bag, and now I'm just freeballing it today, feeling like a god damn Nurgling.
Man, I just want to make video games in my house.