I graduated like Aug'20 and then wasn't until early October'21 that I got this entry level accounting job. Notice the year long gap?
Anyways, the first few months were terrible (I was kinda slow but still got the work done) but regardless I still tried my very best, and I work an average of 9-10 hours. I'm almost 5 months in and I just had my performance review yesterday and it was negative. In the end, they decided to extend my probation for another 3 months.
While they commented that I didn't try my UTMOST best, which I feel like I already did, and they said something along the lines of – don't look at this negatively, prove it to me that you're the person I interviewed! Not word for word – but yeah. I'm not sure if things are gonna be better, as this is the best that I can give. I'm probably gonna get fired if things keep on this way.
And though they have reiterated that they're always open to answering my questions, I kinda am uncomfortable asking questions now since they said like please only ask smart questions. Like at the end of the day, I just wanna do the job properly and overall just be great at it.
They're super great people, I agree, but now are they at a more advantageous side – as they can use this 3 months to find my replacement without having to lose anything as well?
The only thing holding me back from quitting is that… I don't have another job lined up and if I quit, I'll lose this steady source of income. I'm still living with my parents, and tbh they're supportive of me quitting. But should I really? I already had year long gap prior to this, and the only experience I had before was an audit intern. And everyone around me is gonna have their jobs and quitting really makes me feel like a failure.
*Note: Also, my mental and physical health have deteriorated a lot ever since I started this job. But still, I try my best to suppress the negative thoughts and just power through.
Please advise. Thank you so much.