Five years of my life have been given to my employer. At the beginning I used to feel so bad for my friends that worked at call centers for big corporate companies. They’d complain 24/7 about their jobs, while I was feeling high on life. I had the relaxed work atmosphere with the awesome, down to earth bosses. There was so much freedom. I felt like the lucky one while I heard about them being miserable. Well, five years go by and my friends have all moved up in their companies. They’re making awesome wages while I was blinded by comfort.
The owners of my company have been spouting a bunch of stuff this whole time about me taking over the company eventually. The tasks and responsibilities have been added and added until I’ve taken over 90% of the tasks the owner herself had. I help manage employees, do all of the accounting, dispatch and take calls from customers all day, make big and terrifying decisions that could seriously effect the business. And so much more. The owners don’t make any business decisions without asking my opinion because I know all the ins and outs to this company and they’ve grown to trust my decisions. We’ve grown so much and have made millions more in the last few years. More employees, more money, more services we provide. And, even by now, I’m still only titled as a “Customer Service Rep/Dispatcher”. Not a manager, not anything. My pay has only moved up $5 from when I originally started (minimum wage), barely out of high school while I worked on finishing my degree.
You know what broke me? My boss said, “I just want to thank you. I’m sure you’ve thought a lot about whether or not you’re wasting your time and efforts with our company. We appreciate you sticking around and would probably close our doors without you.”
I feel so brainwashed. After so much time wasted asking for pay raises and for a title that could look better on my resume only to get denied sucked. But what sucks the most is that I only truly woke up from the “We would probably close our doors without you” comment. What a guilt trip, right?
Why did I waste five of my younger years for this company? Why didn’t I push harder for more money? Why does the thought of asking for another raise fitting of my efforts make me feel sick/guilty?
I feel groomed, deceived, and so worthless.
And now I have to start all over with only an entry level title on my resume.