I'm writing this on mobile so apologies for the formatting.
Since the pandemic hit I've been living at home with my parents and my older brother. I've had a full-time work from home job the last nine months, and I have been diligently paying my parents $500 a month, plus additional costs for things like pet care and whenever my parents ask to borrow money. Over the course of the past few months, my mental health has absolutely tanked. Call center environments are uniquely draining, I'm micromanaged down to the minute, I face daily verbal abuse from customers, and I have to quitely put up with being misgendered on every single call and survey I get. Now I know that it's just what call centers are like, but it's just not the field for me! For weeks now, I've been searching for a new job with better pay and hopefully, within my field of study. I've already had some great interviews, and previous supervisors have told me they would be happy to provide professional references. All in all, I feel like that while it would have been better to line up a job before leaving, I have enough savings to keep paying my “rent” for long enough to get a job. I have enough saved for a month of rent right now, and I'll be getting a paycheck soon that will last me potentially another two months.
I've talked to my parents about my job search for a couple of weeks now, and I've talked about my savings as well. They should have known this was coming, but I suppose they didn't take me seriously until I let them know that I quit. Since then, they've been screaming at me. I've been called a bitch, selfish, reckless, immature, irresponsible, I've been told that I need a dose of reality and that they don't owe me anything, that if they have to sell the house it'll be my fault and that they'll kick me out, so on and so forth. I figured this would be the response. However, I feel like the toll this job has had on my mental health is simply not worth it.
I have felt so utterly exhausted and burnt out, so emotionally drained, and I've been sinking deeper and deeper into a major depressive episode. I'm terrified that I've gotten stuck, that I'll never be able to complete a college degree and get a job in my field of study. I'm terrified that I've completely wasted my life, and there's no way forward for me. I have this soul-crushing dread that none of this matters anyway, because we're hurtling toward the collapse of late stage capitalism and unprecedented environmental disaster on a global scale. So what is the point? Quite simply, I do not want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to wind up at a mental health hospital again.
I expected to get shit from my parents for this decision. It's pretty much the only reason why I didn't leave sooner. And I get why they're upset, I do. Our financial situation isn't great. But I have to take care of myself, too. And I am! I'm working on getting a job with a more regular schedule, so that I'm able to take classes during the week and work on earning my degree. I'm in the process of getting my license. I have other plans in motion that will tangibly improve my life.
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty anxious about this, but I feel like I made the only choice I could. Wish me luck!