I work as a software dev (senior) for hire. So basically I am rented out by various recruiting firms. Since I enjoyed software development in my early days I read and studied my fair share of 'exotic' ways of thinking and doing things the (most) easiest way. Seeing all these meetings and these explicit and implicit rules that suck the joy out of work, I was often slightly depressed but that changed
Than I realized that my inbox was full with different job offers from other recruiters. So I started to only take contracts with 3 to 6 months initial duration. I seldom extended any contract since once an initial project is finished, everyone tends throw every hard problem at me without any pay-raise or any bonus.
– Of cause I will do this stupid stuff when I have the choice… HAHA! –
Back in these days I actually cared not to hurt the feelings of those people trying to extort me => More stressful and more valuable work for the same hourly rate => The crap I pulled and said just for them not to be sad when I ultimately left… pathetic me.
I did so for quite some time until I had worked in many different sectors for different big (and midsize) companies. Same stupidity everywhere. Sometimes you can convince people to have it the best way you know but most of the time your initiative and motivation gets killed swiftly and you do it their way with all the unnecessary stress and effort and boredom and selfcastration.
I had contracts I quit internally after as little as three hours in. Everything I was told in the interview they didn't do. No software quality, no standards, no documentation and no top notch requirements engineering. Nothing was as promised…. Death march! … Thanks! If they would not honestly believe their own lies they could be called liars but since they are high on their own ignorance I call it just propaganda. And I always fall for it :(.
Occasionally, when I do some heroic work, pulling off fundamental change or solving performance or quality issues, a whole company originally suffered from, I always get a pad on the back and some verbal praises, I often create eternal foes in the company and most of the time I am confronted with politics which I do not tolerate and so after each heroic act I usually quit. Putting in effort does not pay off. Never! Stupid me!
I sometimes simply can not keep quite and here we go again. Just another Idea I spoke out loud and should had…. Another contract down the drain.
Since I got quite older (40 now) and I am still having a lot of alternative offers in my inbox, I started to speak up more and more. Finally I went down the brutal honesty route. Believe me it adds some interesting flavor to work.
Once for instance I was praised for some outstanding work by a manager in a bigger setting (20+ people) and all I replied was asking by how much I exceeded the initial expectation. They said by a large margin. So I asked how much that would be in terms of pay raise. They said there is no pay raise possible since I have a contract and they run on a budget. So I coldly stated that I will not not extend my contract which was due in the next five weeks or so. So much about financial sector pays well… .
Nowadays I run around and state that I am not hired to do my best work. I am hired to convert time to money and be just good enough to not be fired. Somehow business now respects the new me more than before.
I also started to adopt a simple routine. You ask me something… I say no. Just for the sake of it. You have to spend some extra (paid!) minutes to explain me why I can not or should not say NO. And then I maybe say YES. Makes people to ask less of me. My bonus!
My opinions about meetings have also changed. I am not sitting there with my laptop open doing actual work. Today I just pretend to be listening while basically doing breathing exercises. They pay for time I spend not success I produce, remember?
Whenever someone tells me something about team building or mandatory (but not billable) activities like after work restaurant visits, I do not participate. And yes you will not be able to make me to. Want me to do stupid games like pilling up big blocks of wood only having two sticks connected by a longer string? Watch me refusing it. Original comment made by me: This is below my pay grade. There is sometimes minor fallout but its interesting how much you get away with in a corporate setting where you can not be easily be replaced…
You tell me I should socialize more? I say if I want to socialize I call my friends or my family. This is work, I am not here to make friends. Making friends at work makes it just harder to quit the job when its time… Yes I say that to my head of team and to anyone else who whats to lecture me how I should behave.
You tell me that I have a great future in your company? I tell you that I will not extend my contract.
You tell me that you noticed that I am highly capable? I ask for a pay raise or a bonus. You tell me I wont get one. I tell you I will not extend my contract. And I will ask myself what I did wrong for not being able to hide the fact that I am capable of more then was initially agreed upon. I always try to improve this aspect of my work.
Usually they just want an average capable developer and if you fail in being that 'good' they still are happy to have you, because if you are not there, work does not get done. And factoring in that the budget you are running on will vanish if you vanish, makes the money the company spends on you other peoples money so your team and your IT-department do not care about the money you cost the company. Who has made these rules?
Whenever I notice that coworker start to hate me, because I do not do the stupid mistakes or I am too productive, I start causing unlucky mistakes and be all of the sudden unproductive. My work ethic is based to not offend or displease my co-workers.
Whenever I do something well, I stop and start to report many different unexpected problems. I finish every job/task (so I do not get fired) but I carefully monitor the performance of the other members of the team and slow down and become incompetent whenever necessary.
I also learned that testing software is the best task to do. No stress and everyone likes it when you find defects and everyone likes it when you find no defects. Win win, you simply cant lose. Well you can if you are stupid enough to request documentation or requirements so you have an easier time to plan and understand what and how to test. So I do not do that. I just happen to need more time since I have reverse engineer the stuff I happen to have to test.
Since more time equals more money and more money equals success, I do not dare to limit my success by being productive and effective.
So yeah this is f*ed up. No one measures work performance in any way. People are dragged along even if they add unnecessary delay or risk or kill motivation. No one asks no one about books to read or how to do things in a better way. If you want to discuss something you better talk slowly or prepare for a wall of silence or stupid 'team opinions' like 'We do not create documentation since documentation gets old quickly!', 'Copying code once (and only once!) is allowed' bla bla bla.
In my current work assignment I even got the head of architecture writing everyone why I should be fired. He is just someone who doesnt takes it well, me stating he is incompetent in his face in front of everyone just after he scolded me in front of everyone that I do not understand the 'special' problems everyone is facing, just when I laid out in front of everyone, how to address every such special problems and everyone gets it except for the head of architecture?
Yeah you bet that I will state my honest opinion. They said during the interview that they noticed how honestly I assessed and communicated my own short comings and that they want me to always be that honest… big mistake but here folks you can have honesty up to the point everyone tells me that I should not be that honest. Too late. You asked for it and I enjoy it so you can and will have it… .
Welcome to the new world. Once you maxed out your options in the market you just continue to work for money until you have enough for an early retirement.
This was supposed to be fun but somehow the people I would like to work with left before I usually come around. The people, I meet at work, I actually like to work with of cause I take with me once I leave… . Of cause!
So yeah if you notice the same things in your company, go independent and start to speak more bluntly and more direct. Best fun you can have in this industry.
And as a bonus: The people always saying everyone can be open and honest in this environment at this great company… Yeah they can have it, too. Once they lose the fight about open and honesty being limited, the interactions with these people also get reduced to a minimum… Somehow I am not a required person for certain meetings anymore… .
So yeah. F work, give me money for almost nothing. Success does not pay well… . Or did I missed the point?
PS: Just writing this because I need initial karama. Thanks reddit… .