tw: depression talk
So, I was listening to YouTube videos while I draw, and I had videos playing automatically after they end. I was listening to videos about coding – currently I’m teaching myself so (hopefully) I can land a higher-paying job (if I can be completely honest with you) and a video about a person who quit their software engineering job came up. They described how they felt so drained and a slave to corporate America, mixed with guilt of finally “making it” but wasn’t happy. Long hours, pulling at nighters for due dates, things I knew I would be doing but didn’t really hit me until I heard it from someone else who actually worked that lifestyle.
Another video came up of a lawyer – again, making mad bank and who “made it” – but quit because they were denied a couple days off to visit a dying relative. They said basically the same thing, they felt like a cog in the machine, a slave to corporate.
Absolute no hate to these people, because I acknowledge they are wealthy enough to quit their jobs and have the opportunity to move on to something else just as high-paying, but that is not why I’m making this post. It’s more of a blatant realization. Something I had sort of an idea of and knew it to be true but never really thought too much about because in my mind, the lower and middle-upper class are different. One can afford their necessities and luxuries with ease and other struggles just to keep a rough over their heads.
Our similarities is that we are all a slave to corporate, to capitalism, companies only care about making money, even if you are being paid more than enough to live comfortably.
And with that knowledge it’s kinda hard to stay optimistic when, or if, I finally “make it”. That no matter where I go, what I do, that everywhere is all the same. Work-life balance does not exist in America. And I’m sure most of you have already figured that out yet here I am. I was told my whole life once you “make it” you’ll finally be able to relax. Relax is all I ever wanted and not being stressed about money. Now there seems to be little hope for that. About the relaxation part, lmao.
Anyways, if you’ve read this far thank you and I apologize for my little sob story, needed to get this little crisis off my chest. I want change so bad.
Have a lovely day folks <3