Just wanted to share my current story with this reddit about my job and what has happened, and maybe get some advice or at least just get this off my chest.
For a very very long time I have had bad dental issues because my wisdom teeth were never removed and they were growing in a way that when I brushed it wasn't helping, they got infected and destroyed some of my other teeth. This ties into my work, I have a stay home job for a third party company that is hired by Apple to provide Apple tech support. I am good at my job, in 2 years I became the highest role you can get for the tech support side of things and make decent money. About a year into my job they changed the attendance policy, before it was pretty good (get 1 point for missing a day, after 90 days point is removed), after the change though it was very punishing. I am someone who has to call out once within a 60 day period on average for a mental health day with the previous attendance that wasn't an issue., with the new attendance it was and I stopped that habit. Whenever you miss a day you have to go 60 consecutive days without any mistake, outtage, what have you with your attendance to recover the hours you missed. If you go 120 days you get all your called out time back. The issue is if you missed another day within 60 days then you add the missed hours on top of your current time missed and the 60 day period starts over again. This means for people with chronic pain or mental health issues this can get very severe.
Back to my teeth now, they were bad, to the point were my face would swell, my jaw was in danger, and pain would shoot through my body because of the nerves. I couldn't go 60 days without a bad pain day getting in the way were it would hurt to even breathe and my benefits didn't cover me getting this fixed at my local face and teeth surgeons. So my days piled up, and up, and up. I would make it 60 days sometimes, but then have to call out two days in a row in a week after forcing myself one step forward and two steps back.
I am on the edge of being fired one day, i can miss one more day, and that one more day comes as another bad pain day. My partner pays for a dentist visit and the dentist takes 100 dollars to tell me to go to a surgeon instead and give me a referral. The surgeon appointment is on my next day off, cool I intend to fight through it. My next work day comes and my face is swollen more than it has ever been before. My best friend in the whole wide world says he will pay for the tooth surgery, so knowing I will finally get this taken care of submit an official leave of absence. I pay another 212 dollars for the surgeon to inspect my teeth, get told it will cost 4100 to have 5 teeth removed and get all my documentation for it all. To this day the leave is still awaiting approval. I have turend to work but if they don't approve it the 2 weeks missed to go to multiple appointments, get the surgery done, and recover will count against me and I am guaranteed to lose my job. Here's the kicker, I at this point kinda want to be fired?
I mentioned earlier that I used to take mental health days, I really never called out for anything else and would float around 2 out of 7 points needed to be fired which was manageable and better than a lot of my coworkers. After the change in policy to attendance I felt pressured to work through pain and can't take my mental health days when I need them. It's gotten to the point between all the pain I felt over the last 3 years, on top of my draining sanity, I have become a totally different person when working. I have angry outbursts after phone calls with rude customers, I've acted on dangerous impulsive thoughts, and I get irritable with my partner (which is unfair and I have been doing my best to control my temper, they point out when i am being unfair the moment it happens and I take a moment to chill out so nothing to extreme). I am completely fine on days i don't work, and I'm also fine when I get off working my 10 hour shift (I used to be able to stomach this on 8 hour shifts 5 days a week but they forced schedule changes, another issue that's caused me stress, I now work 10 hours and get off almost at midnight).When I am on the clock though i become so much more angry and I don't like what I have become. This could've maybe been avoided if i took care of my teeth before, but I didn't know my friend would pay for it so willingly. Essentially though now that i am back to work the burnout has hit hard, I came back to find out they reduced our half hour of offline time down to 8 minutes, god forbid you have a bad stomach cramp after eating something bad and are in the bathroom for 9 minutes.
Essentially, all the policy changes over the years and with recent issues that put me in dangerous attendance levels I am stressed and burnt out to the point that I told my manager how i feel and I have been calling out when I really can't after my leave of absence has worn off (if even approved?). My manager wants to make things right for me, but his hands are tied by upper management. I feel like if I am calling out anyway beyond the line where I can be fired I might as well just quit because that looks better looking for a new job, but the part of me that wants to support my partner and not be a dead beat says I am being irresponsible and stupid since that would be quitting without a cushion. I am applying for other jobs, I called out today and put the energy I got from the relief of not having to work into applying for 3 local jobs. At this point this is just a huge vent, I don't know what I am expecting of this, but maybe to people facing a similar feeling situation of burnout and medical issues both piling together at the same time can use this as a warning to do something before the dam breaks like mine did.
TL;DR Medical issues and policy changes have me burntout, that even after the medical issues are resolved I don't know if my leave is even approved at work and I don't even want to go back but I don't have a cushion. I feel irresponsible, unreliable, and reckless and I just want to warn others in a similar boat to do what they need to earlier rather then later if possible. Take care of yourselves please.