becoming a teacher is stressful. my undergrad is going to take me 6 years to finish, even with summer classes. ive completed one of the certification modules, four of the certification exams, but still have several more modules/exams to do before i graduate. and then there's field work. in just this one year, i spent 10 hours teaching 4th grade math, 10 hours observing high school special ed, and 180 hours teaching preschool. all unpaid of course. and when i finally finish undergrad, i'll have to start working on getting my masters.
this is my passion, and im happy to be getting all the preparation i need to be a great teacher. but it's a lot. and it's hard when i know i wont even be paid a reasonable amount considering my level of education and the importance of my work. i know i'll have to do a lot outside of work hours. i know i'll have to be much more than an educator to children. i really do love being in the classroom. but im struggling to accept all the stress that comes with it.
all of that is more than enough to worry about. but now when im setting up my first classroom, i'll also have to consider choosing a hiding spot for my children in case an active shooter comes in. i'll have to plan out the emergency exit path. i'll have to explain to kids as young as 5 why we need to practice hiding.
we are already expected to go above and beyond in so many ways. child poverty, racism, childhood trauma, are all big problems dumped onto teachers to try to solve. and when we inevitably can't solve these complex issues, we are blamed. adding the possibility that we may also be shot and killed while working is beyond too much.
the news today hit really hard as someone who works with elementary kids. they're so small and sweet, practically still babies. you need to sit in one of those tiny plastic chairs to be at the right height to hug them.
and it also hits hard bc i still vividly remember being 12 and hearing the announcement that all after school activities are cancelled. i still remember teachers crying in the halls and the whispers about kids being killed at sandy hook, a school only 15 mins away. i still remember waiting all day to hear if my baby cousins were alive.
today hurt my heart. i cant believe this is still happening. i shouldn't be scared to be a teacher. we deserve better. children deserve better. enough is enough.