Ill try to keep this short, just wanted to share with others that might've been struggling with the same problem I had been my entire career up until now!
My current job isn't anything special, but it's by far above average and I don't have much to complain about, other than my pay.
A company in my area that does the same work reached out to me recently about setting up a a meeting to talk about working for them. I decided that since this is honestly the first time I have been comfortable with a current job, and had another employer reach out to me, that for once i'd stand my ground and be honest with them about my pay expectations for the work I do. Usually in those “pre-interview” talks I would always shy away from talking about pay, because of the stigma that it will be an instant turn off for the employer. But since I was currently employed with a decent job, turning off another employer really had no consequence. So I told them the pay range I expected to be in if swapping jobs ($9/hr more than what I currently make) and they didnt seem off put at all, in fact their repsonse immediately after was along the lines of, “thats great! lets set up an interview!”
So I'm taking the interview and most likely taking the job. Tell them what you are worth.