Started a new position a few years before the pandemic. Developed a fantastic rapport with my immediate supervisor/boss. She was (and still is) in my opinion, a good leader. Direct, straightforward, and productive. I enjoyed being on her team for the first 18 months I was there.
After the pandemic began, a lot of members received the option to work remotely for a period of 6 months. She and I were not given that option, which was fine. We worked together closely for that period of time, relying on each other during the uncertain and unprecedented times.
My only gripe with her was she had little boundaries and little respect of mine. As in, she would email or text me at all hours asking for immediate reply. This went for weekends, holidays, etc. oftentimes I felt obliged to respond because essentially she and I were the only two actually reporting to our building while the majority of staff was remote. Eventually though, the lack of her boundaries took a toll on me. I did have to speak with her a few times about only
contacting me during business hours or if there were a true emergency, as I had a husband and a family of my own. This was a job, it wasn’t my life. She didn’t seem particularly offended by that, but still would try to call or text at inappropriate times. I think she had an unhappy home life and spent a great deal of her personal time on work.
Anyhoo… during the pandemic times of late 2020 to early 2021 I was quarantined twice. Once because my husband was exposed during the first wave and we were quarantined by the health department, and the second time on a mandatory work quarantine because I was exposed. Neither time did I test positive. I worked remotely during these two quarantines and did not take a day off.
In fact, I had not taken a day off for the duration of the pandemic. Once vaccinations began, I felt more comfortable traveling. In summer 2021, I took 5 days for a family vacation.
Here is where I screwed up. I had not taken a vacation day since 2019. I clearly had 2 weeks + accumulated time to take. I should have checked with HR beforehand to ensure those days were still there. But I did not. That was wrong, unprofessional, and irresponsible of me.
I did, however, get my boss to sign off on these days for my vacation. She agreed and said “as long as you have these days to take, take them!“
Dun dun dun.
Cut to a month later.
I’m sitting in an airport across the country on the second day of vacation. I send a text to her just to check in to see if everything is ok at the office. She sent back a terse reply. Completely unlike her.
My anxiety spiked.
It was clear something was wrong.
She replied, “is there any way that you can come in tomorrow?”
Baffled, I explained that I was sitting in California and would not return until the end of my vacation.
She said, “fine. That’s your choice to disobey a command. I’ll see you at 8 am sharp in my office Monday to discuss this.”
I was so confused.
I tried to spend the next few day enjoying the family vacation anyway, but obviously had a level of stress due to her behavior.
I get back Monday. She acts extremely cryptic in front of a few other staff members who had come in to work that day instead of remotely.
I went into her office and waited on her. She shut both doors. This was serious.
She explained to me that I had disobeyed a command by the superior officer to return to the office. She handed me paperwork and instructed me to read.
She had written me up for insubordination.
Of course, I was extremely angry.
To this day I could slap her.
I kept my cool. We talked it out. She said that I only had 3 days of vacation per HR, not the 10 as I previously had. She had no idea why I thought I had 10 and instructed how incompetent I was because of this mistake. She said her supervisor was informed of the decision and I was only 1 of 2 employees in the district to have ever been written up for insubordination.
I went back to my office, defeated.
I called my boss’s supervisor to apologize for my actions.
What is funny is.. she had NO idea what I was talking about. She said she had never seen insubordination come across her desk, and had no idea that my boss was so upset. I told her she was CC:ed on all of the documentation I had signed. She said she had never received a copy.furthermore, she didn’t understand why I was written up for taking vacation days or why mine had disappeared. She got HR on the phone, who explained to me that the 2nd quarantine I had had was not covered by the district Covid leave, blah blah blah. But that she understood the confusion and she would just take two of my sick days to cover my 2 vacation days I lacked due to Covid. HR assured me this was “nothing to fret about” and was “an easy confusion.”
I walked back to my boss’s office and confronted her. She immediately got defensive and asked why I called her supervisor. I told her the story, that I had called the apologize for my actions, etc.
Admittedly, things did get quite heated. I asked why she felt comfortable texting me about gas prices on Christmas Day but didn’t feel comfortable giving me a call over the HR vacation day issue, yet felt comfortable putting a black mark on my file stating I’m insubordinate instead? She apologized and said, “I wasn’t happy with your behavior. I could’ve communicated it better. But the insubordination still stands.” I told her I respected that and her decision and apologized for my part of it.
I walked back in two weeks later and gave my notice. She seemed shocked. Accused me of doing it because I was “miffed over a little issue between us.” No, lady— I can’t trust you. If I can’t trust you, your team will not be as productive as it should be.
In a way, I did her a favor.
I heard it took her 8 months to fill my position.
Ha.