There was a post on here earlier today (since deleted) about a server getting stiffed on a tip and it’s got me all sorts of heated.
I get it. Tipping is an absolutely shit custom that takes the responsibility of paying a living wage away from business owners and throws it onto customers. That’s bullshit, and it needs to change. Business owners need to pay their employees. BUT. Until that happens, if you dine out in a location where tipping is customary – i.e., the servers are making a reduced minimum wage and it is anticipated that tipping at 15-20% based on quality of service will make up the remainder – you’re expected to tip. Sure, you can leave little or no tip for exceptionally poor service, but tipping is “optional” in name only. Dining out is also optional, and if you dislike the custom of tipping, you’re welcome to cook and eat at home.
People seem to think refusing to tip is some message to business owners about how the system needs to change. Most business owners don’t give a shit that their servers aren’t getting tipped. They might care IF wages after reported tips dip below minimum wage and they have to pay the difference, but most of us who dine out aren’t such garbage people as to not tip to the extent that servers would make whatever their measly minimum wage is. Until servers are required to be paid an actual livable minimum wage and not a reduced minimum wage supplemented by tipping, the appropriate thing to do is tip. It’s absolutely ludicrous to hit service workers in the pocket because you don’t agree with the system – you’re benefiting from their labor in serving you and then shorting them, not the business, in the end. (If you are dining in a location where servers do make a livable minimum wage, such as Seattle, tipping is not expected, and several restaurants there have actually moved entirely to a no-tip model.)
Against tipping and want meaningful change? Don’t eat at or buy takeout from any businesses where tips are a part of the income of the person serving you. Don’t participate in the system at all, and encourage others to do the same. Hit the restaurant owner in the pocket – instead of the server – by not giving them any of your business. Only ordering takeout does absolutely nothing. You’re still lining the pockets of owners. Demand fair wages through your legislature and stop giving restaurants any business until that happens.
Stop taking your dissatisfaction with tipping culture out on servers.