A few years ago when I was looking to build work history and get back into the workforce after raising my kids, I tried to take a job at a local grocery store. I overestimated my ability to put up with bullshit.
When I interviewed, I explained that I could work weekends if necessary but would prefer week days while the kids were at school. They seemed okay with all that.
As I introduced myself to my coworkers, almost all of which were middle-aged women, I discovered that most of them had worked there for decades. One woman had worked there for over thirty years and several others had been there for over twenty.
The first week I came in on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. I communicated with my supervisor and trainer all along about my schedule and thought we understood each other. Wednesday was weird, though. When I showed up, they told me there was no one there to train me. No problem. The work was pretty straightforward so I just worked six hours doing what they had taught me on Tuesday.
Friday I was glad the work week was over because I hadn't spent that much time on my feet for a while. I was chilling in the evening when I got a call from the manager, one of the few men who worked there.
His time from the start was angry. He told me I was scheduled to come in the next morning and demanded to know if I was planning on coming in. He told me I wasn't supposed to come in Wednesday and acted like I was lying when I told him no one had showed me where the schedule was posted. I hadn't even known until then that there was a schedule posted.
Of course, I didn't go in. I didn't have time to set up babysitting on such short notice. Instead, I showed up on Monday, at the start of my regularly scheduled shift, and turned in my apron.
I was able to find another job that was a much better fit and where people treated me with respect. I happily worked there for the next two years and got the job history I was looking for.
I sometimes think back on those ladies that I met there at the store. Their boss is no better than an abusive spouse, who demeans and gaslights anyone under him. I can only assume that if they are willing to stay there, decade after decade, that it's because they don't believe they deserve any better. It's certainly not because they are getting paid well.
So my message to the ladies at the local grocery store, and all others who are dealing with bosses who treat you like crap, is: you deserve better. Show your boss that you respect yourself by standing up for yourself and walking away. You can find a job where you will be treated respectfully. And that's what you deserve.