Got a new job last week as a sales administrator after 5 months of unemployment. I had mixed feelings about it because 1. All I wanted really was to find some work friends as I have been pretty lonely and 2. I have no reason to not be working and feel like I’ve been pressured to get a job.
I have a problem with the contract that I’ve yet to sign. It states in it that I’m expected to be flexible with my hours and no overtime will be paid. The hours are 9am-5.30pm with a 1 hour unpaid lunch. The thing is, during my first week, the red flag for me was that they left me with nothing to do, twiddling my thumbs most of the time, until the clock hit 5.25pm, my line manager would come over asking me questions about the ongoing enquiries I have, or trying to teach me something on the systems. It’s shit as they’re making me sit there all day and then not allowing me to leave to go home and have some dinner. I really really don’t want to go back there, I am pregnant and haven’t made them aware of it, and due to pop in 6 months (coincidentally the length of my probationary period). Everyone’s told me just to discuss the contract terms with them tomorrow and make them aware that I don’t want to do overtime, especially unpaid. I have so much anxiety about voicing my concerns that I just don’t want to go back there at all. Also all my colleagues I feel don’t like me or want me there. I feel like my fear of rejection takes over when I have to make phonecalls to customers…It’s all fucking me up in the head to tell you the truth. I have a boyfriend I live with who has recently been told that he’s autistic, and he’s already got depression and anxiety. He’s made me feel like I can’t work at all as since last week he’s really gone downhill and started having suicidal ideation. It’s all too much for me, that I just wanted to vent somewhere, I don’t care if no one reads this, and I know so many of you have much bigger problems with your shitty workplaces. But to top it off, it’s my birthday tomorrow, I just don’t want to be anxious and sad on my birthday, you know? I feel like if I don’t go back, my parents and my boyfriends parents will think of me as a flop and be really shitty with me & I just want this to all fuck off really. Fuck work, wish there was some way I could get out of this.