Throwaway bc obvs. TL;DR: I was a great employee who left when boss turned into a bully, then she tried to ask me to come back when they were up a creek without me.
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In 2018, I worked at a center that ran academic programs for people (mostly kids) with learning challenges. Think Sylvan, but 5x more expensive. I hated the overprice, but I got to spend all day, every day working with kids who went from hating school to feeling like empowered little rockstars who could conquer their challenges. I loved my students and got to see their confidence grow and their lives change over the course of a few months.
The center manager (CM) trusted me with more responsibility – I was always on time, great with kids and their parents, and eventually began to train new employees. But I also noticed that CM went through an absurd number of personal assistants. Assistants would last a couple months max before bouncing, and whenever one would leave, CM would throw shade about them to the rest of staff. It seemed like those in her good favor could do no wrong, and those outside could do nothing right, and assistants could never get inside that circle. A few tutors were also on the outside from the start – often really kind, eager, motivated people who I thought would become great employees, only lasted a month or two. I thanked my lucky stars that, for whatever reason, she hadn't decided I was on the outside.
Our center needed another mid-management person and it made sense to promote me due to longevity and positive results, plus the kids and parents loved me. This meant more training of new employees and being the one to actually set the programs for our students. For some reason, as soon CM promoted me to this spot, I was outside the circle of her favor. She immediately began treating me with undeserved hostility and suspicion.
Example: I administered an intake eval to a student, and saw after the fact that CM had made a note on the bottom of the file to do an extra test. I didn't see the note until student had left (as it was UNDER all the normal paperwork) and immediately went to CM's office. Convo went like this:
Me: “Hey, I didn't see the note to give Jane the xyz test. That's my mistake. I'll call the parents and ask that she come to her first session early so I can give it then.” (A typical way we'd resolve an error like this.)
CM: “But why didn't you administer it? I left a note.”
Me: “Yes – I just didn't see the note until she had left. Just an oversight on my part, I'm sorry about that.”
CM: “But WHY?”
Me: “Why… what?”
CM: “Why didn't you administer the test like I said on the note?”
Me: “I… didn't see the note?”
CM: “But why didn't you give the test? I said to give the test.”
Me: “Yes, I'm sorry, I didn't see the note where you said that.”
CM: “Why wouldn't you give the test like I said on the note?”
Madness like this started happening 3-4x/week. She'd vent to my colleague (the other mid-management person) about my incompetence and how she didn't have time to hold my hand as I learned my new role. Mind you, this whole time I was THRIVING in my new role: my students were flourishing, parents specifically requesting me, new employees I trained doing well.
After two months of this, I was dreading going to work every day, losing sleep, losing weight/appetite, growing anxiety. I tried to work things out w/ CM but faced ongoing hostility and weird, manipulative notes she would leave on my own work notes. A little while more and I found out I was pregnant and decided this wasn't a good environment to stay in for my own health/pregnancy, and handed in my two weeks, easily finding something else that would start right away.
CM gave me grief when I gave my two weeks, but I was done.
Fast-forward to a month later, now two weeks into my new job. Email arrives from CM: “Hope you're doing so well! We are a little short-staffed right now and I'm wondering, if you haven't found anything else yet, if you would come back and help for a little while. Jane's mom is requesting you specifically, too. I told her you left because you were pregnant and she is so excited for you!”
SO MANY PROBLEMS. First, of course I had something lined up before I left. Second, of course Jane's mom requested me – most parents did, which you NEVER acknowledged when you called me incompetent and treated me with suspicion. Third, major privacy violation in telling a client that I was pregnant. Fourth, I left because you've been impossible.
It's been a few years now and apparently I'm still carrying around this frustration. Prob something I should talk w/ my therapist about…