I just jumped back into farm-work from working in an office for 8 months. Been really struggling to readjust physically. Yesterday I tried napping after work then going to bed a little later (10:30 instead of 9) – big mistake. Had trouble sleeping, got up just before 6 this morning with a headache, blurry vision, and feeling nauseous. Left for work but on the way there decided I just need to take it easy and not push myself into a danger today, so I called out sick.
The last time I worked on a farm 2 years ago, I called out a total of 3.5 hours for the whole season. There were definitely days when I didn’t know how I could possibly get up and go to work, but I lived on site and there was a pretty toxic/stressful work culture and I wanted my bosses to like me so I just went with it. I think I have developed a better sense of my personal health being more important than any job, but I still can’t help but feel it’s my fault. It’s my fault for having trouble getting enough sleep to wake up at 5:30. It’s my fault for trying to have a life outside of the farm and wanting to make time to see friends/significant other. It’s my fault for not being prepared to do such a physical job when I’m getting paid as much as the other employees who not only do their best every day, but are both starting their own farms in their free time, not to mention the owners themselves who continue to work every day after the rest of us have gone home.
I love growing food and working outside, I definitely do not want to go back to working in an office. But all I want, really, is to grow food in a way that I feel is nourishing and fulfilling, not knocking years off my life. I feel like I’ve been sent a gift for finding a farm that pays $15 an hour, but at the end of the day, I still have to exploit myself in order to make a profit for others. Farmers are so physically exploited because literally 1.6% of the U.S. workforce is farming. About 26% of the world is farming, and I am betting most of those folks are growing for subsistence. Think about how much exploitation is required to get that much product that everyone needs to survive out of so few people. Dreaming of a life where we all quit our jobs, grow food, and trade with our neighbors.
Sorry for the rant.. am sleep deprived.