I don't have a good place to ask this, but its probably the best. Reddit is aggressively middle class, and most people I know IRL are in the same hopeless grind I'm in, but I'm hoping somebody here has found a path out for themselves.
I hate work. I don't just hate my job, though believe me, I do. Its the idea that I should spend the majority of my life grinding that I can't live with. The realization that I'll trading my physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing for survival…most of my life makes me suicidal. It feels like death is my only way out of this. I'll either work myself to death for the few fading moments of happiness here and there, or I'll blow my head off.
Right now, I'm working 6 days a week, scheduled 36 hours but often working upwards of 40-43, and making $8.25 an hour. I'm looking for another job, and the best jobs I'm qualified for cap out at around $11 an hour, expecting the same amount of work. I'm thinking about getting one of these jobs but asking for reduced hours, though in my experience, whatever I ask for at the start will be disregarded when they think I won't quit anyway.
More education isn't an option at this point. I don't qualify for enough government support to get a degree, and even if it did, it would be almost impossible for me to work like I do and attend classes.
The only way I could be self employed would be to do work that is 10x more demanding than what I'm currently doing, though the pay would be better and I could make my own hours to an extent. Plus no boss to call me on my one day off. However, that isn't exactly something I can imagine myself doing for my whole life either.
Is this just my life going forward? Work my ass off until I die?
How can I give myself some real breathing room? Because another day of this grind seems like too much right now…