What Is Manipulation?
Manipulation is the exercise of harmful influence over others. People who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want. The person manipulating — called the manipulator — seeks to create an imbalance of power, and take advantage of a victim to get power, control, benefits, and/or privileges at the expense of the victim.
Manipulators have common tricks they’ll use to make you feel irrational and more likely to give in to their requests. A few common examples include:
● Guilt
● Complaining
● Comparing
● Lying
● Denying
● Feigning ignorance or innocence
● Blame
● Mind games
Signs of Manipulation
Manipulation can happen in many forms. In fact, sometimes kindness can be a form of manipulation depending on the intent. Then the question is raised, is any form of influence considered manipulation?
Whether manipulation has good or bad intentions, it is still an attempt to undermine your rational thinking.
People who manipulate others have common traits that you can look for.
They include:
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They know your weaknesses and how to exploit them
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They use your insecurities against you
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They convince you to give up something important to you, to make you more dependent on them
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If they are successful in their manipulation, they will continue to do so until you are able to get out of the situation
If your manager or coworker tries to convince you to do something outside of your consent, or something you aren’t paid for that is outside your job description and/or schedule, or do something you aren’t paid to do (such as finding someone to cover YOUR shift because YOU are on the way to the ER, for example), these are signs of manipulation.
If you call in sick, you aren’t letting your team down. Your manager did that by running a skeleton crew to maximize profits. You are not responsible for your manager and your crew, you are only responsible for your job description during your work hours. Never pick up a shift out of guilt, never do anything outside your job description that you do not consent to. Trying to talk someone into doing something they don’t want to IS manipulation.
If your manager threatens to fire you illegally, ask them if they want to speak to your lawyer and the department of labor. They’re not your family or friends. They’re your managers and supervisors. It’s only business.
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