My wife and I have been together for just over 10 years. The company she's been at for the last two years effectively cut her salary and demoted her this year by changing her job title and providing a 3% raise, all while trying to claim the bonus she received last year was part of her “raise” this year. The company has gained a bit of a reputation for low wages, though the workplace and job itself isn't bad.
My wife loves her job, gets along with her co-workers well, and didn't want to leave, but after doing some basic research for positions similar to hers (data engineering) and finding that comparable positions are paying much more, I persuaded her that her company was taking advantage of her and that she should at least explore new opportunities.
My wife didn't start on a data engineer path in college. Her degree was in the humanities. But over the years she developed in interest in learning coding, eventually earning a software developer's certificate from local university. She is non-confrontational and is self described as “too nice” in the workplace. This can lead her to not value her skills objectively, as well as give rise to more than a little imposter syndrome where she often feels like she's not really qualified to do what she does. (I don't share a lot of these feelings with my wife, or, at least not as strongly. I'm a former criminal defense attorney and have almost no reluctance to initiate confrontation if I think it's needed. I think this is why I was able to persuade her to act.)
Nevertheless, she sent her resume out several weeks ago and immediately began interviews with a lot of companies. (And when I say immediately, I mean she sent out some resumes on a weekend and before end of day that Monday had half a dozen interviews lined up.)
Today she's accepting a position with a new company. 100% work from home, better benefits than her old employer, plus stock options and a 65% pay raise. She still can't really believe they're going to pay her as much as they are, even though her new salary is exactly in line with the going market rate for her skills and experience.
I know that her feelings of imposter syndrome, wanting to maintain a positive work environment, and not wanting to be seen as difficult is common with a lot of people. After all, we're civilized, socialized animals, and being seen as a difficult member of society has a lot of negative connotations.
But, employers know you feel like this and use it against you! Intentionally or instinctually, employers are counting on people who are kind and empathetic to not value themselves as highly as they should in order to appear nice or congenial. This isn't your failing, it's their manipulative tactic, one where they use your good nature against you, and for their own benefit.
You don't have to let them. If you have the ability, find another employer and get what are worth. No one it going to do it for you. You've got your own life to protect.
TLDR: It's not show friends, it's show business. Don't let that voice in your head that tells you not to rock the boat, or to be nice, stop you from demanding what you're worth. And if your current employer won't give it to you, take it from someone else.
Fuck em.