I thought online things wouldn't be stressful but goddamn hell, I almost sent a message to the meeting's chat “can you kill me instead?” but I managed to keep it to myself after all. I also spent all those hours for something I don't give a fuck about and I doubt I'll even do well enough to not be kicked out or be able to handle the stress. IBS is already acting up, been stuck in the bathroom with horrible cramps ever since the meeting ended. First time I felt suicidal in a long time.
I thought online things wouldn't be stressful but goddamn hell, I almost sent a message to the meeting's chat “can you kill me instead?” but I managed to keep it to myself after all. I also spent all those hours for something I don't give a fuck about and I doubt I'll even do well enough to not be kicked out or be able to handle the stress. IBS is already acting up, been stuck in the bathroom with horrible cramps ever since the meeting ended.
First time I felt suicidal in a long time.