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Please help: advice for work and depression TW: suicidal thoughts

Any advice so appreciated thanks!!! I graduated college May and work as a reporter since mid-June which I got my degree in. Still have lease for Apt I am paying for in college town which I am not using since job is in hometown. I am a reporter/ journalist have talked to many in the industry and they say my workload is a lot, even the experienced people do. At a completing media organization, an employee I know with similar experience is responsible for 1/2 the articles per week and doesn’t need to post his articles or do some other duties I do. I can’t afford two apts on basically minimum wage so I’m living with parents as I have my Apt in college town I’m paying for. My mental health has been very bad lately which is my problem to solve. I am in the process of switching healthcare…


Any advice so appreciated thanks!!!

I graduated college May and work as a reporter since mid-June which I got my degree in. Still have lease for Apt I am paying for in college town which I am not using since job is in hometown.

I am a reporter/ journalist have talked to many in the industry and they say my workload is a lot, even the experienced people do. At a completing media organization, an employee I know with similar experience is responsible for 1/2 the articles per week and doesn’t need to post his articles or do some other duties I do.

I can’t afford two apts on basically minimum wage so I’m living with parents as I have my Apt in college town I’m paying for. My mental health has been very bad lately which is my problem to solve. I am in the process of switching healthcare providers as can no longer use my college doctors I used year round for years since graduated. However, my dad controls my access to medication sometimes says I do not need psychiatric meds when I do. But I need to take them to work.

Was having difficult time Fri/ Mon/ Tues and didn’t get much done while working remotely. My job is hybrid so I’m in the office sometimes other times no, the remote work wasn’t issue was mental health.

So now I am trying to get help but having setbacks. For example, was feeling better yesterday but I still slipped up on something and I feel horrible I missed it since someone complained.

I need to work here at least until I get the title to my dads car because he is very controlling but used cars are so expensive.

I keep thinking to myself I wish I jumped off a bridge this weekend and didn’t call my boyfriend who stopped me. I know I haven’t been working this job long but wish I could have taken full week off or a few days to set up medical care and and come back stronger instead of feeling I can take no time off due to how short staffed company is. I feel so controlled and like I’m failing at my job why not jump?

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