So my work history has not been great this year. Early on I got covid, and I was pretty wrecked for February and half of March. I didn't have a great job at the time so instead of returning I used what savings I had and my tax return to live while I tried to find something better. Well that never happened, and I had to get a generic labor job to get by. While there for about a month I kept looking, and finally I got my chance: a sales position that paid commission or hourly, whatever was higher.
I took it. And I really tried, guys. I wanted this one to work. But I'm just not a salesman apparently. My performance wasn't great, so my hours slowly got cut and it was eventually not worth it to drive as much as I was for the job. So ihad to leave, and for the last month I've been jobless, back to looking for anything to get by.
And the process of applying and interviewing for things has become a shitshow. I have been just a complete mess of anxiety and self loathing for a good part of the summer.
Now this week I started another generic labor job and I don't know, the nerves got to me and I called in on the 3rd day. I know that's awful, I'm not proud. I just woke up, and felt so… nothing. And yeah that didn't go well.
So here I am, nothing left, at the end of my options. I should say, the only reason I've been ok is that I was able to sell my magic cards, which sucks but I'm glad I had that investment to fall back on. And now I'm out of options. I got too comfortable with having a safety net, I think.
I'm not proud, I know my situation is my fault. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just want you all to know that yeah, shit sucks but don't take chances with your life/ income. It's a real and very serious thing. Guys, I know some jobs and bosses are just the worst. But please, have a back up before you make hasty decisions. Don't be like me. I am the worst case scenario. I let a few bad luck or unfortunate events absolutely ruin my work ethic.
I'll probably delete this in a bit. I'm just complaining to a community that at least somewhat understands how it feels to be so down about employment.
TLDR; I'm bad and it's nobody's fault but my own. I had a few shitty deals and just gave up I guess. Thanks for reading.