i’m 32 & on the job hunt again after being fired for asking for a CoL raise; and i just had this realization while looking back at my job history & doing applications. even my earliest fast food jobs were both referred to me by friends.
i know a lot of this is my ‘fault’ bc i don’t have more than an associates degree & i have a lot of mental & physical health issues that made keeping a job in my 20s really difficult. also i’m autistic as shit & physically disabled (in an obvious visual way) so i don’t shine in interviews.
but it really fucking sucks to have realized that the thousands of job applications that i’ve put in over the last 16 or so years have been essentially pointless wastes of time.
and i’m not even an “entry level” employee. i’ve assistant managed a mcdonalds and managed a busy pizza place. i’ve had supervisory roles in the last 4 CS/call center jobs i’ve had, from shift lead to team lead to account management.
but in spite of all that, the only thing that has ever gotten me a job is knowing someone else who already works there and getting vouched for.
i’m so fucking burnt out. i’m even applying to entry level stuff that’s a pay downgrade from my last job and not getting anything. it’s not like i’m applying to biochemistry labs, i’m just applying to things that people who can read and use a computer can do.
i’m a great employee. i go above and beyond and i take all the overtime i can. i’m smart as fuck (humble too), and a great problem solver. once i’m comfortable in a space i’m charismatic and personable. i get along great with everyone. im really good at spotting potential problems and getting in front of them. im an effective communicator when it comes to training.
i look like shit on paper, but i have been an undeniably beneficial addition to every company i’ve ever worked for.
but none of that matters, simply because i haven’t reactivated my facebook account and asked the people from high school if any of their jobs are hiring.
i’m trying to learn programming as an escape from this cycle but i’m pretty fuckin sure it’s just gonna be more of the same. looking at the trades too but idk how much my physical problems will get in the way. either way these options don’t help me now.
i just can never get a fucking break. i’m so tired. thanks for coming to my rant