Hi, new here. I just need some support, I screwed up really bad at work this month and I need to feel less lonely about it. It would help me to read some stories from you wonderful working class camarades.
Some context if you're interested :
Before this job, I was unemployed, barely scrapping by doing freelance jobs here and there, for about 2 years (one of which was 2020). I got a call center job on 2021, and it was a blessing but at the same time they were abusive and the work culture was truly toxic, I stayed for almost 9 months because it was better than being unemployed. I got a call on December last year asking me to take this job. My friend got an executive position at the government (not the US) and she needed someone to do marketing and design, for which I have a college degree on. Perfect! The pay was twice what I was making at the call center and I got to work with a friend as a boss. Yay!
But yeah, it all changed in May when her assistant quit and my boss asked me to take her position . It was sort of a promotion, I got a salary increase and I didn't have to clock in anymore, but I had to deal with all of my boss's paperwork on top of doing what she originally hired me for. I thought I could take it. It seemed easy, so I agreed. But it's been 3 months from then and it's driving me crazy. Bureaucracy in this job has proved to be a never ending nightmare. It doesn't help that my boss is sort of diva and comes up with requests out of nowhere.
I've never been so stressed before. And I've never dealt with stuff like this, so I am usually lost on what to do. The thing that gets me through is that this is probably going to be the best paying job I'm ever going to have, it includes benefits and on slow days I can just go home before lunch time.
This month I made 2 big mistakes due to my inexperience. Both times were about not presenting important paperwork on time. One of them costed me actual money, a big chunk of my salary, and the other one is going to be resolved this week if I play my cards right, but I am very scared of failing, so it's all I think about and I can't even sleep or eat. I am extremely anxious right now . I feel totally stupid and ashamed.
I wish there was a way out of this, but I feel like should just suck it in and learn from this so I can get better on the future. I shouldn't quit. Hopefully I will get the hang of it and be able to deal with the stress.
Have you ever screwed up this bad?