I know this is not the place to vent willy-nilly but here it goes:
I am 37 and I've dropped my job because I couldn't stand it anymore. I used to be a teacher, but I've been ground so much by the system that I freaked out and quit my last job. I've got the money I'm entitled to, after working for companies for the past 10 years and I should be celebrating and spending it all with stuff but all I can think is that I'm not able to come back to “regular adulting” anymore. I feel bad, under appreciated and undervalued. I have an apt, a bf and a happy relationship with friends and everything, which should be something that keeps me going but not even that makes me want to continue. I feel like I don't belong here in this world. I feel like if I killed myself just now people wouldn't even bat an eye. This capitalistic system took the best out of me and now I'm left with nothing else but delusion.
I don't even have the strength to fight or stand out for anything. I wish I didn't wake up next morning when went to sleep.
I'm not even sure why I am writing this. Maybe a part of me doesn't want to give up while the rest of it has abandoned all hope.