In the past 2 years I've made huge life gains going from window washing, broke, student, single, shit car, living in my moms spare bedroom to being engaged to the perfect woman, new born daughter, fantastic first career job, new car, nice new (rental) house, money to spend, etc.
However, as much as my fiancee likes to gas me up and congratulate me for everything I've achieved since I met her I can't seem to allow myself to enjoy any of it because it's basically all riding on the assumption that I don't get fired.
In a couple years after I've saved up a nice nest egg I won't be as anxious, but at this point since I only just started working I'm 1 pay check away from my entire life collapsing in an instant. I'm really not that great of a software engineer and while I don't think I'm doing horribly I wouldn't be surprised if they let me go before my probation is up.
I think this is what they call a house of cards, everything can be destroyed in an instant if my job falls through and because of that I'm unable to enjoy anything I have.