Been dealing with a lot of shitty stuff at work and my job is in limbo. I made a long post yesterday about an investigation that I ended up deleting because I was legally advised to in case it turned against me. I’m afraid of letting everyone down, even though I know I did nothing that was criminal or worth losing my job over. It’s a long story that I don’t really want to get into again. My family knows I’m depressed, but I don’t really think they know how bad it is. I’ve been seeing a therapist and PA that prescribes me meds but I cannot say it’s been helping. When I choose to stop existing, I would like to get it done as quickly and as painlessly as possible. In the end, we’re just meaningless and I’ve become discouraged from wanting to continue. It’s going to feel embarrassing to return if/when hopefully everything works out because who knows what students and staff have been saying about me throughout this time reassigned.