The more I browse this sub I realize how much I hate where my life has gone. Went from being an abused child to an awkward teen to a shitty officer, nothing meaningful to show for a wasted 26 years of my life other than major depression and ptsd. No friends, no family, no hobbies. I'm waiting to get discharged but all I see is horror stories on the news, and I wonder if I will even be able to survive as a civilian. Even got thrown in a psych ward and got abused by nurses and cockroaches due to “suicide risk”.
I love how all the VA orientation revolves around how I should embrace corporate culture, work for money, be a manager. I can't manage 25 soldiers, how in fuck will I be able to manage a store!? The army took 2 of my soldiers, just kids out of highschool, away from me, repirmanded me for dare saying sexism is real,
Fuck, I can't even finish a paragraph. Sorry for the incoherent rant. I'm literally crying in bed right now. And I'm gaslit into believing I'm lazy after 730 days straight of non-stop work and abuse, working holidays, missing my parents. It was only 2 years right, I didn't actually have it bad right?
Give me my 2 boys back! Killed for an education, but I'm the insane one apparently. I'm mentally ill for thinking something is wrong here!