This year, I got the best job I’ve ever had. I pay rent and provide medical (and more) benefits for my family.
My boss hates me though. From the get go, it was clear she thought I was not competent (she hired me?? So I’m confused??) She complains to others about the quality of my work, but does not approach me about it. Others in my position say it takes a good year to get good at it, but I wasn’t immediately perfect so now she tells many people that I’m failing to learn fast enough.
I had a meeting at the end of the day yesterday that left me sobbing. I had just been thinking “I feel like I’m really getting it, I think my team is starting to like me and feel like they can depend on me.” And this meeting was a total dressing down about how I must not understand my responsibilities and I need to step up.
I thought I was. Idk what to do. I can’t quit. I can’t afford to live without the job and I have a family who need the medical. I can’t live like this though. I’m scared to go to my meetings with her. I’m scared when a random person drops a meeting in my calendar because it’s going to be a meeting about how she complained about me to them.
I hate this. I hate being stuck here because I like to eat food and live in a house and not die of something curable. I’m miserable. I don’t know what to do.