When covid first hit and lockdowns happened, a lot of the UK was furloughed. As an introvert, I get sent back up north from the south to spend the summer on furlough.
£550 a week for 5 months.
I was living with parents and had to pay £80 a month rent. (£600 now I live with my gf)
I was making money for doing absolutely nothing. What was I doing during furlough? I was catching up with mates. I lost 15kg (I was 112kg overall down to 97kg) because I had nothing better to do than work out and improve my fitness. I was full of energy. I’m a very picky eater and for the first time in my life I was cooking home made meals with food I’ve never tried before. I could do this forever.
Then we had to go back. I had no time, no energy, no drive to try new things and goddamn I want THAT lifestyle back. I was fucking happy. I was being healthy.
I’ve put that 15kg back on. I’m tired all the time, I’m depressed at my job because that’s a sinking ship and I suffer bad imposter syndrome.
I felt like someone when I didn’t work. Like whatever choice I made at the time would’ve been positive. Now I feel like I’m stuck in this rotten cycle that humanity calls “life”.