The last week of my life has been a complete mess, a quite suicide attempt that culminated in me taking myself the mental health ward and asking to be put on suicide watch, the reason?
I don't know how the fuck I'm meant to keep doing this day in and day out, I finally got a job I don't mind doing but the concept that I'm just gonna be doing the same thing every day for the rest of my life while I still struggle to save money is just baffling, then come the thoughts of all the other things that I don't have to look forward to, the world is slowly marching into the maw of global warming still unsure if we are gonna beat it or not, the economic system we have is geared to keep the rich, rich while the poor work and die to make sure the elite can continue the way the always have, contributing nothing, taking everything.
The housing market is such a shit show that I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to buy a house, the implications of global warming make me question whether I should bring kids into the world when I know I certainly want to.
It just feels like I'm pushing through for nothing, even if I get on top of my mental health that just means returning to work and working every, repeating the same cycle of raking money in for someone else to use while I struggle to maintain the same standard of living and fight tooth and nail with the business to give us what we need to live a semi-normal life.
TLDR: I feel cheated out of my own life because it seems I was just born to work my entire life while still struggling to achieve anything I actually want to do and the world feels like it's going to shit so there isn't much to look forward to.
I just need some support, I need to know there's others out there that feel like this and have managed to get past it. I just want to enjoy life, not work till I get put in the ground.
PS. sorry if this is poorly written, I'm doing this early in the morning while fighting the effects of my new medication so it might not be as cohesive as I think it is.