Let me preface this by saying I am aware this is nowhere as bad as many other stories on this sub, with blatant worked discrimination, wage theft, etc. but I am very upset right now and I just have to get this out.
I work in a European country in a local health department, specifically the Corona Tracing Team.
This is definitely not my dream job, but I dropped out of university due to mental health issues and this was just a short term solution that I just stuck with for 1 1/2 years now.
The pay was kind of shitty, but for me it was more about doing something useful for society and work I considered as doing something “good/ valuable”.
That meant, with high case numbers our work week often looked like this:
8am to until whenever you are done/ it’s too late to still call people because they would not believe you are calling from local authorities (meaning 10pm).
Yes, I had many months where I worked 8am to 8 or even 10pm, plus several days per month on weekends.
Because screw worker rights, am I right? … but again, I didn’t really mind, I was busy which helped my mental health, the team was nice and again, I felt like I was doing something useful.
Fast forward to now. Many people left the team, there is hardly anything to do right now, with cases& work probably going to ramp up during the winter months again.
For the others this means 2 hour lunch breaks, 30 min smoke breaks, sitting around on your phone at 9:30 when all the work is done, etc, classic bore-out situation.
But hey, I still get paid, and from being on this sub you can probably guess I don’t mind all that much.
Issue is, I am manning our hotline, so I HAVE to stay by my phone 8-12:00 and 13:00-16:00.
Monday I was sick, so someone else did my job – while also handling 8 Covid cases on the side. Which is honestly no issue since the hotline only gets a handful of calls a day, but it’s supposed to be open for people who have any questions regarding Covid during those times.
It is rare, but I had a handful of emergencies over e years, situations where you had to call the ambulance/ police RIGHT NOW.
But I usually it’s just people needing paperwork again, pretty easy to answer questions (I had a positive test at home what do I do now?), etc.
So one of my coworkers told me today the others were gossiping, typical “why can’t TrenchcoatTurtle also do case work like the rest of us? She just sits around all day while we do the work!”
She didn’t tell me who was saying this, and I kind of snapped at her, justifying why I have zero motivation to also do casework (again, people sitting around in the sunshine all afternoon while I sit in the office, alone, manning the phone).
I immediately apologized, and honestly? I am too afraid to ask her WHO was gossiping, since she made it very clear she didn’t want to out them.
… but still, I am incredibly pissed right now, I do not feel welcome in this office and kind of like I’m getting shunned by everybody else.
…yeah, who would have guessed that comes from not being available to play cards or gossip with the rest of them all day.
I’m aware I probably come across as bitter and entitled and kind of a misanthropist, but I just feel sad and really lost right now.
I definitely should move on and try to get hired somewhere else, for my mental well-being, but I’m honestly just scared that I ruined my life and this is what I am stuck with forever. I have not been doing as well the last few days as I usually do, and I think my depression might be catching up with me again? Yeah. I don’t know. I just needed to get it out.