In short: I hate my job. Well, actually I love my job–its my boss who gets on my nerves.
Some days I would come home and cry, it is very embarrassing.
So, where did it go wrong? I barely started working in retail, in a job that is quite suited for me. It's enjoyable and has good benefits. However, the supervisor is making me uncomfortable and depressed.
Some customers have noticed her behavior and asked why she's grouchy. I tell them, I'm not really sure why. Ofc she says rude comments to me, and I try my best to ignore it. But it has gotten worse.
It all started a few weeks ago. I was checking someone out, but put in the wrong amount. No big deal, just makes my life a tad harder since I have to calculate how much change to give back! So, I whip out my phone and figure it out. My boss is watching me and says, “You can't do math in your head?”. I can, I reply, “but this makes it easier”. My boss is noticeably irritated and says, “That's sad! You need to use a calculator. Just do it in your head”. I said I didn't want to, since it's easier and more efficient. Oddly, she got mad. She said she couldn't believe how I studied at [insert university name here] and couldn't do mental math. She made me feel stupid. I had already put up with her rude behavior before, so I defiantly say I would continue to use a calculator! It makes no difference whether or not I tabulate it mentally or via a calculator, so I felt this “rule” was quite petty. Plus, I'd seen other cashiers at retail use a calculator. Of course she claimed by doing it in my head would lead to “”personal growth”” (whatever that means). She walked away, claiming it was “sad”…
After thinking this was a dumb rule, I figure she would let go and move on. And she doesn't. For a while, everything is ok. But, I forgot my lunch and my mom offered to drop a sandwich off for me. Yay! Or so I thought. My mom knows I hate my boss, so she gives me the food and leaves quickly. Once I am done eating my boss inquires why I didn't introduce her to my mom. “She was just here dropping off some food for me”, I chime in, “Since I let her borrow my car. And she offered to do so anyways”. My boss gets a look of disgustingness on her face that makes me recoil and she says, “That's just sad, you're 20. The last girl that was here was 18 and just walked to {insert food place name here}. You're old enough to get your own lunch”. I was more hurt by the way she said it and the look on her face. I felt so inferior by her comment, and she could tell.
In my culture, no matter what age you're family is very close. So I felt like she disrespected me and my culture…
Instead of leaving me alone after verbally harassing me, she comes back and sees me on my phone. She gets angry, and starts to say I shouldn't be on it but I was in a bad mood and said, “There's no law against being on my phone”. She yells at me to come to the back and says, “I don't like working with you. Since day one it's been attitude”. So I say, “I try to ignore your rude comments, but they really upset me”. In my mind, they're degrading, insulting and very mean spirited. But she says, “Wow that's a bad personality trait to have. You get angry and lash back”. I couldn't believe her lack of self awareness. She claims since she's from {insert state name here} it's why shes “blunt and direct”. In reality, she's rude and hurtful.
Oh, and as for the calculator use? She was still hung up on that! She brought it up, and claimed I “disrespected her” for saying I would continue to use a calculator…
The worst part, though? She pulled me aside in front of customers and yelled at me…
Honestly, I wish I could hold myself together but I started watering up in my eyes. I feel so worn out from work today, and even though she was very mean, she threatened to write me up. I can't even focus on school work since working has made me very depressed. I used to be so happy and I feel like my soul is being destroyed week by week.
Should I just quit? I really need the cash and I can't continue to be abused. The rude comments are starting to plant seeds of self doubt into my head; she uses information I tell her against me, through insults. Maybe I'll apply for another job, then quit…