Hello, I (20s) work in a medical facility. Anyways, a while ago, a coworker (30s) of mine was making inappropriate remarks about my appearance at work. He would also make weird comments about patients and ask me for their number which I would laugh it off. I didn’t think much of it. I gave him my snap a while back, because I wanted to be in contact with my coworkers for questions. Then he looked me up on FaceBook. It was fine at first. Then, he told me about his sexual encounters with his roommate and the roommate’s girlfriend. He asked for my nudes. I refused, told him I’m in a monogamous relationship. Then he asked for my fiancés nudes. I told him no and that he should think before he says something to get him in trouble. Well, a couple weeks later, I kept waking up to calls, messages, and even a transaction of “$0.01.” I ignored it, went to sleep, then ignored it when I woke up. He would send me a creepy message on snap saying “you’re up early” and when I snapped, he said he would pay for my nudes. I told him to never talk to me again.
Of course, I brought this up to management. I brought it up to a few people because I was hysterical and scared for my safety. He’s a big guy and made jokes about hurting me, like if we arm wrestled. Finally, I talked to management and they took action and temporarily fired him. Well, not long after, he was back to work like usual. Making jokes with others, as he’s an extroverted and friendly guy. Even the people I told this too were joking with him like an old friend. Everytime I saw it, I felt disgusted with myself and I wondered why I even exposed myself like that.
During this time, I tried pleading with management to do anything. Anything. They refused and told me cryptic things. They even told me I was “wasting their time” with all these talks. They told me to forget about it and if I persisted, I would “let him win.” Hell, they even said if I continued, he could put a lawsuit on me for “retaliation” because I was telling them about his ridiculous actions. They told me this was all “for my benefit.” Never felt like it, despite complying.
Meanwhile, my coworker said he knew how to use chloroform and that he “knew a guy with a van” in the break room. How fucked is that after everything??
Then they said they’ll start a meeting next month to discuss it. This, at least, kept me going. I went to a sexual assault center and offered management their services by letting them speak about resources for sexual misconduct in the workplace. They refused.
Well, meeting happened and they talked about the usual stuff. I sat there, anxious as hell and about to cry. You know what they said? They talked about how they don’t want us talking about other coworkers and the derogatory stuff they do. They want us to”work as a team” and “be kind to each other.” Not once did they mention sexual harassment or anything similar. They put the blame on me and basically sympathized with my coworker, like I wasn’t the victim. I’ve been losing my sanity for the past month, locking my doors, looking over my shoulder, throwing away any food that’s left out in case it’s tampered with. I feel crazy.
And he continues flirting with coworkers and patients. Making the facility his playground by throwing biohazardous objects in bins and neglecting patients. He joined after me and has only been the “class clown” of the facility so everyone sides with him. He’s funny and charming. I can tell people are starting to make weird remarks to me. I’m scared and just want to do my job.
My mother and fiancé tell me to leave, and I want to, but I think something needs to be done. I’m scared to move forward. Is this something worth fighting for?