I'll put a TLDR but for context — I have been working exclusively for myself for the past 4 years but I was becoming a little burned out and disillusioned about a year ago so I decided that maybe it would be best to take on a part-time role somewhere to re-orient and maybe even drop my business all together.
I found what I thought could be a really wonderful gig working for a spiritual organization that I was familiar with but had not participated in. They seemed to share my values and the amount of time and responsibility was right for what I felt ready to commit to. The pay seemed slightly low for the role, definitely beneath my skill/pay level but I was willing to try it out especially after finding out in the interview that there was going to be a shift in the organization in 6 months and that the pay would double and the person hired for this role would be promoted.
The interview was a little odd, couldn't tell if it went well or not and was feeling pretty weird about it. I thought maybe it was a cultural difference (supervisor and I grew up in different countries). It also went over by a whole hour, but again, it's got start-up vibes wanting to scale all that jazz so I was like maybe it's organizational culture that will change when they professionalize more.
The work started out simply enough but within a couple of months somehow more and more of the responsibilities that should have been falling on my supervisors plate was being handed to me from them. We have two hour meetings each week, the only time we see each other, and the entire time this person basically talks shit about everyone else in the organization no matter their level or role (including the spiritual lead who he works very closely under), and complains about our students and has poor things to say about them too. He will go so far as to make fun of spiritual names people have given to themselves or been given by a teacher. He constantly talks over me (and honestly anybody else we ever meet with) and will literally say the same thing multiple times. Or he will apparently not hear what I have just said and ask me the same question multiple times with increasing annoyance with me for apparently not answering.
What has become increasingly more problematic is his absolute fear around me talking to other people in the organization. We have an office that pretty much can do what it wants within reason and he does not want me talking to anyone else or asking advice about anything. Once when I asked someone a question, not knowing this yet, he said, “Well now we just look stupid because we didn't know about our own program.” First of all, I was brand new. Second of all, he did not know the answer either. He does not know the answer to most things. Basically he shows up and listens to everything that I do, I hold all the institutional knowledge of how everything runs, he just knows the cultural context because he has been there for almost 20 years.
Which by the way, when I talk to other teams they are very supportive of my supervisor and our program and want to see it succeed with his vision. He has no idea because apparently he never answers his emails or attends meetings.
A few things happened back to back that kind of broke it for me:
1) I was told that I would get to help create the schedule for our classes, which I have to attend, but they went back on that where I have no say and I additionally have to show up for group sessions on weeks they don't have to which means every weekend from Jan-May I am in session (while I work all week too) and then again from July-Oct on and on like that.
2) He was trying to change the culture around something at our org. which I fully agreed with his vision (and by try I mean apparently just bitch to me about it every week for 4 months straight) and then when I proposed an outline for how to move forward he started talking over me telling me how I was so wrong and that vision was wrong and then started towing the line of the org saying, “I know this goes against what I said but …..” He has since changed his position again now that I don't bring it up anymore.
3) He was complaining to me about how his partner is never around and he only sees them sometimes at night when they go to sleep and they can't do any work together and I just felt like this level of complaining was making me deal with / think about things in their relationship I do not care to know or be privy to.
Anyway, I have found my way again with my own business and have a renewed sense of passion for it. I'm ready to put myself all in again. I've also been approached by two other businesses to be paid more for less hours doing work I actually like. I'm going to put in my notice (30 days per my contract) next week.
First of all, I just needed to vent and get that all out (and there's actually more) somewhere that feels supportive. I worked as a Project Manager / Product Developer for 10 yrs before I went to work for myself and I never had any issues with supervisors beyond minor issues that most mangers have (not many ppl are trained how to manage well). I've been friendly with these people and always felt like I could just tell them why I was leaving without fear and often they would buy cakes and cheer me on and take feedback well.
This person does not take feedback well and I honestly have fear around this upcoming meeting because of the level of — I think it's bullying. And there's probably a ton of sexism in there and also a dash of ageism.
Any words of encouragement or advice are welcomed. I've never been scared to quit a job but with the behavior I've seen over the past 6 months I think it's justified.
TLDR: Pretty sure my boss is a bully and we have a 2 hour meeting each week, the only time I see him, where I'm going to quit so any helpful words are welcome. <3 ty