TL/DR version: I feel like I’m being bullied out of my job and don’t know what to do next.
My s.o. encouraged me to write about what happened to me at work today to start making connections and reaching out to others who may be able to give me some advice in this situation. Apologies in advance for the brain barf (my term for when I just let everything out on paper) but I’m still a bit frazzled.
I work in a restaurant as a dishwasher and have been with this same place for just over a year now. It’s part of a small family owned chain of restaurants so there aren’t any big corporate overlords breathing down our necks. I have a hard time finding work I can stick with for a few reasons (a.d.h.d, anxiety, and more recently a brain injury in 2018, all of which should be on record with them because I told them flat out I had those conditions) and for the most part the job was perfect for me. I didn’t have to work with customers (it’s more difficult to communicate with customers verbally ever since my brain injury), I didn’t have to answer the phone, and my coworkers were great.
The chef who hired me was also awesome, but he was let go a couple of months after I started because other people didn’t like him (I’m guessing because he didn’t let them get away with half of the stuff they shouldn’t be doing anyway).
The new chef wasn’t hired until after the holidays so we all pitched in to help make sure everything was done on the kitchen side. We finally got the new chef and things were fine for a while, but for me things have gotten progressively worse over the past few months. Here are some examples of what I’ve been having to deal with.
· Portioning. They do an absurd amount of portioning where I work (other places I’ve worked didn’t portion in advance, just on the fly with a scale at each station), but under the old chef it was never more than 20 or 30 minutes. His attitude was that the kitchen needs to do their fair share as well and I shouldn’t do all of it. Over the months it gradually increased to the point where sometimes I would have over 2 hours of portioning to do in addition to washing the dishes.
· I usually come in to a mountain of prep dishes because as soon as the kitchen sees a dishwasher walking in they just start piling everything back there. Our restaurant is only open for dinner service so during the day it’s just the prep cook working and he does his own dishes. The rest of the dishes are from the kitchen staff when they come in to do their prep before service.
· Clean utensils put in with dirty sponges. They keep their clean utensils right above the dirty dish sink so right before service everyone come in to get clean dishes while I’m trying to wash
· The chef will come in and dump things down the sink where the sanitizer should be and where I keep clean dishes before putting them away.
Back in September I had bloodwork done and found out I have a possible thyroid condition, so of course I let work know because it might slow me down a bit. Was told that wasn’t an issue, but ever since then every time I take 2 seconds to breathe he gets on my case about not doing my job. This was never an issue before I told him I had a possible thyroid condition.
More recently he rehired a former dishwasher, who pretty much took all of my shifts and put me on a morning cleaning job instead 3 days a week. That’s fine, but midweek I still have to work dish 2 nights a week and having such an extreme change in shifts mid week. I’m also expected when I do dishes while doing said maintenance so the dish area can be pretty clean when the other dishwasher comes in, however I’m not afforded similar consideration on the 2 nights I do come in and do dish. I just come in to piles of dishes everywhere. I’ve run shift at other places and nobody ever just dumped dishes in the dish area. They would at least help do some (especially prep dishes) when they had time until
I had a talk with corporate last week about some of what was going on and they seemed very understanding. I’ve never been written up, keep logs of everything I do, and I even made job aids for the dishwasher (not even my job, by the way, but the chef never bothered to make one so I never knew what his expectations were) so anybody filling in knew what to do. I’m told them if the cleaning buckets don’t get washed, I get blamed for that (even if I’m not closing), if the chemicals are where they shouldn’t be I get blamed for that (again, I’m not the only one there and have no control where people put stuff), and if the dishes aren’t spotless I get blamed for that (but it’s apparently ok for the other dishwasher to leave everything stained).
So today I came in to work the night shift and lo and behold there’s a big pile of dishes waiting for me after I’m done cleaning the front of the house. First he gets on my case about not texting him when we were out of sanitizer for the dishwasher when he wasn’t even in the day it ran out. And usually when I do text him he either forgets to buy it or tells me not to bother him. I did tell 3 different people who were managers yesterday (the corporate chef, the sous chef, and the general manager). And if I go buy it from the supplier myself (yes, I get reimbursed) I get told not to. I can’t do my job if they don’t give me what I need. But seriously, how many people do I need to tell this to.
And don't even get me started on how many times the chef asked me if I've lost weight and if I'm actually eating. Yes, I've lost weight and yes I do eat food. But when he keeps asking me that I freeze and don't know how to respond. It also makes me super self conscious about eating anything at work anymore so I try to avoid eating whenever he's around. Yes, I've told the GM about this.
I’m still not done with the mountain of prep dishes they left me and suddenly the chef comes in and says they need cheese shredded. He’s done this to me before. He says he needs something now but doesn’t really need it. So I told him I need to finish clearing out the backlog before doing it. Well I guess he didn’t like that and went and told the corporate chef and the GM who, up until now, I’ve always gotten along great with. I was basically told that I need to tell them tomorrow if this is the right job for me and that I can’t be talking back to the chef like that.
They also cornered me in the office, which was also a bit traumatic for me after something that happened at home last year (not involving the s.o, involving someone else living in the apartment and we moved out after that). They said that I shouldn’t have to document everything I do, that I shouldn’t take so much and give more, and they aren’t out to burn me but they think we should split amicably.
I’ve never been written up at this job, I’ve never gotten in trouble, but all of a sudden today this was an issue. The only person there I have an issue with is the new chef. Like, I’m sorry I have health issues and I’m not as young or as fast as the other dishwasher (that dishwasher is in his early 20’s, I’m over 40).
Needless to say I went home in tears today and honestly don’t know what to do next. I feel embarrassed, I feel frustrated, and I feel depressed. My s.o. said if they’re that upset they need to put it in writing and they need to fire me, not try and get me to quit.
What do I do? I already have a hard time finding work because I have a hard time talking with people and I have a hard time functioning when there is too much ambiguity involved. I've also been burned by employers in the past