I’m working somewhere that is just destroying my mental health. I honestly feel like they’re abusing me and I can’t take it anymore. I started my business trip on Monday and I’ve spent the last two nights just crying in my hotel room. Now I’m on day 3 in a row of nearly zero sleep and I’m on the verge of an anxiety attack. I can’t take it anymore.
I’ve tried to remedy this by switching to another team, but I missed that opportunity by just a few days and I wasn’t listened to when I asked about changing teams multiple times throughout the year. There are now hiring freezes everywhere, so I can’t move internally or externally. I just feel completely screwed, but I also feel like if I stick around, it’ll just get worse. I’m literally hiding in one of our unused conference rooms typing this up.
I’ve looked for internal documentation about what to do; can’t find anything. Also, HR is not your friend.
They now want me to go to a dinner after work hours, mandatory, with people who’ve been complete assholes to me and have contributed toward my anxiety. I literally feel unsafe. I’m getting a fight or flight response.
I really just want to leave. Can they somehow hold me financially accountable for the trip (it’s very expensive) if I leave? I just want to fly home. I don’t want to be around this toxicity.
Major tech company that everyone hates. I won’t name it and I won’t comment on any of your guesses. This is an alt account; my main account can be linked to my job and identity.
Thanks for letting me vent here.